Last night I was sitting at our kitchen table setting a puzzle. I was very aware of feeling something…but not quite knowing what it was. After a bit this feeling really got my attention. I looked down and noticed how fat I felt…I felt like I was literally two times my size in weight. I mean that with my whole heart. I felt huge and I was aware of it. As I’m feeling this…I hear the mind saying, ‘I haven’t been eating much…I have not eaten much over the Christmas season at all. I wasn’t into all the baking and not once did I ever overeat to the place where I was sick over Christmas.’ I’m listening to this commentary going on in the head…at the same time I’m feeling agitated about this ‘fat feeling’ I’ll call it…becoming consumed with the whole thing.
I called my daughter and shared this experience with her. Don’t laugh but the first words out of her mouth were amazing…well amazing to me! She said, ‘well mom, what does that tell you? What you are feeling has nothing to do with food and what you physically eat!’ You have no idea how that hit me as truth…and so timely at that!
If I may explain…now that I’m heading off into the business world working by myself…my daughter shared with me…energetically I was feeling I had to be twice the person now…two times the healer…on the sharing went. You see for me…at this stage of my journey…my body mind and spirit are working with me to move me through whatever is there…communicating many things for me to help me unlearn, relearn and grow. The feelings I was feeling got my attention…an illusion for sure…and much has been healing inside me since.
I would also like to add, if I may….during the holidays, especially around Christmas and New Year’s…for most people there is a lot of eating and visiting and eating and socializing and eating and….well you know…a lot. Collectively….and I mean collectively we are all affected by the whole of what is.
A wonderful teaching came across my desk today and I’d like to share it with you… Sri AmmaBhagavan said, ‘We suffer because we falsely identify ourselves with our thoughts and the mind.” Play with that thought as you go about your day.
Much love and light to you as you journey into 2014.