Do you ever catch yourself looking at someone and thinking you would like to have what they have? I’ll give you an example of what that may look like!
Let’s say you see a woman getting a compliment from a man. She looks so happy to have that attention. As you continue to look at her, you notice she is slim and dressed really classy. You think to yourself, ‘she is slim maybe if I lost some weight and dress like that men would give me that kind of attention too.’
Another example, you look at your friend whose life partner takes time to kiss them on the cheek before they go to work. The two of them look so in love. You catch yourself wishing your life partner would do that for you. These kinds of thoughts don’t only happen in your personal life.
Your thoughts can carry over into your professional life. Let’s say you are in the profession of being a teacher. You look over at another teacher who seems to really be able to keep the classroom under control. As you watch the teacher for a bit you start to think if you were like that teacher you would be able to keep your classroom under control.
Have you ever done that? If you have, when you catch yourself looking at others and having those kinds of thoughts, what are you actually ‘looking at?’ Do you find yourself thinking about being like the person you are looking at or do you get caught up in being treated the way those people are being treated? There is a difference.
In the first example above are you ‘hung up’ on wanting to be slim and dress classy or does your focus go over to how that lady is being treated? Are you focusing on the people or the behaviors?
To help you answer that, it’s important to consider these three things:
- How you are feeling at that time? Usually when you are going through a stage where your self esteem or confidence is low you may tend to compare what you have to what others have. You may look for things that you perceive will make you feel better. If someone is doing something which makes them feel good, you may think you need to do that and then you will also feel good. That may not work for you.
- Where you are looking for the change? It can be very easy to get caught up in what you are seeing in others. Looking outside yourself takes your attention off of what you are feeling on the inside! You may think looking at what others have or what they are doing can be motivating for you to make a change within yourself. It will serve you greater to go inside yourself and be with the feelings you are experiencing at this time.
- What you are focusing on? Focusing on others can be a distraction. Recognizing you are in that place of ‘wanting something someone else has’ can serve you well. That recognition is the beginning of a process of discovering what’s really going on inside of you in relation to what you are seeing outside of you.
To look at someone and think to yourself, ‘if only I looked like them or acted like them I would get what they have’ that is so not true! Many elements come into play when it comes to what you have or don’t have in your life. One thing for sure, self awareness is an important element and will reward you greatly.
Is this something you can relate to? It would be wonderful if you shared your thoughts and experiences around that.
Blessings to you always…
Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker