In our life, my husband and I are blessed with grandchildren to help us to learn and grow. Our granddaughter Calli, is now 4 years old. She is starting to express sentences with feelings in them.
The other day Calli came shopping with us. She came into the change room where I was trying on some clothes. In no time Calli had the contents of my purse all over the floor. She was quite busy seeing what interesting things she could find. When she got the lip gloss opened she started to use her finger to scoop out chunks of lip gloss. I dealt with that one and on to the dental floss she went. After pulling out what seemed like feet of dental floss, I had reached my limit of being ‘okay’ with her in my purse. I told her she couldn’t play in my purse and picked everything up off the floor. Calli left the change room and started saying, ‘grandma is mad at me.’
The next day I could feel the dynamics of what I was experiencing. ‘IN THAT MOMENT’ I was mad at what Calli had done…and I still loved her. In the next moment I was perfectly fine with Calli again…and I still loved her. With that awareness, I asked my daughter to remind me the next time I am with Calli…I could share those words with her if she feels I’m mad. Here is what my daughter shared with me… “Awe that’s such a beautiful way of putting it. Remember mom, she is experiencing emotion on a whole new level now too. When to use it to get what she wants, when and what she is really feeling, and how to change or express it. It’s a perfect time to remind her of that. I am also working on, she chooses when to be mad or sad or happy, no one else can make her feel the way she does, she can choose.”
I shared with my daughter I was going to put this insight in the newsletter…here is what she added: “Remind people too…even though their kids are grown up they can still learn, and change things for generations to come. Grand kids are a perfect vessel for change!!”
The words ‘in that moment’ applies to anything in our lives. In this moment we feel this and in the next moment we feel that. Do our feelings change…you bet they do. For children…in this moment…feelings do not have to mean for the rest of their lives. Play with that!
Thank you to our daughter Brittany for sharing her insights and wisdom above. Thank you to both our daughters and their partners for all the love and joy they have brought into our world through their greatness.