Being True to Yourself, by Linda Binns – The Energetic Edge Expert
Are you being true to yourself? Perhaps in some ways but not others? When you start being true to yourself – in other words, doing things that feel right to you – it can be a little difficult, mostly because other people around you may not like it. This can be true particularly if you are used to living your life trying to please others, rather than yourself.
Those around you may make you feel that you’re being selfish and so you may go right back to your old people-pleasing self, because you think they must be right. They’re not.
For those of us who grew up being people-pleasers it can be extremely difficult first of all to know what being true to yourself means. Because when you live your life trying to please others you have lost all sense of whom you really are and what you really want in life. Once you start to realize that you don’t have to live your life trying to please others and you start to identify what you really want in life, and what you are really passionate about, it can feel quite uncomfortable at first.
It feels uncomfortable because you’ll start to feel guilty, and others around you – those who benefit from you knocking yourself out trying to please them – will increase those feelings of guilt. But this is where you will find out who your true supporters are, because they are the people who will encourage you, not put you down. And these are the people you need to spend more time with.
I’m working with someone right now who finds it extremely difficult to do anything for herself. She does everything for everyone else and always puts herself last on the list. She works hard to the point of exhaustion and yet she’s not accomplishing the things that she wants to accomplish in her business or life. The idea of doing things that she wants to do, that make her feel good, is very difficult for her. She feels incredibly guilty if she’s not working hard or doing things for other people. Yet this is clearly not the recipe for success – if it were, she would have succeeded by now.
Does this sound familiar? The truth is, when you deny who you really are and what you really want you will struggle. When you put everyone else first and yourself last, you will struggle. When you think that your needs and desires are not as important as everyone else’s and when you let others direct your life, you will struggle. And yet that may still be what you choose to do – many people do. And that’s okay, as long as you’re aware of it.
It can definitely be difficult to change, because you may feel guilty and you may feel selfish. And you won’t do it until things have become so unbearable that you are ready to do anything to change how you feel.
The way to start is with self-awareness. Start paying attention to what feels good for you and what doesn’t. What do you enjoy doing, what do you not like doing? Be aware of the people you interact with – those who energize you and those who drain you. Pay attention to those people who support and encourage you and those who criticize you. Start doing at least one small thing for yourself every day. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable when you do this, write about it to see what comes up for you. Don’t stifle what you feel, embrace it and explore it – this is how you come to truly know yourself and when you do, then you can start to live your life differently, by being true to yourself – and that is what you’re truly here to do.
Linda Binns is an author, speaker and entrepreneur. She helps people move from being stuck to becoming unstoppable by changing their energy. She is the author of 6 books on energy. www.LindaBinns.com