When you think of wanting more independence in your life, what do you think of? Maybe you think of being more independent in relationships, like having more freedom to do things on your own. Maybe you think of being less dependent on certain things, like not needing to drink so much coffee in order to get through your day. As you live your day to day life, you may discover there are different ways you can gain independence.
Recently, I gained independence in a way I never knew possible. I was raised with a mother who was overweight and focused on dieting. Along my journey I became obsessed with always trying to lose weight. I worried about what I was or wasn’t eating, or if I was exercising enough so I wouldn’t gain weight. I was dependent on exercising to control my weight. When I ate too much food, I exercised even more somehow thinking the exercise would keep the weight from coming back on. Using that approach kept me focused on ‘not gaining weight,’ yet I still gained weight.
Then in the last year, I got to a place where I just wanted to exercise to get my body moving and burn off the excess energy I accumulated in the day. This approach was more focused on creating movement in my energy. I ‘moved’ through stuck energy, like on the days when I felt so heavy because I was struggling to move forward in my life. I noticed my exercising just became a regular part of my life and was now independent from my eating. This new found independence was impacting my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic states every day. I was feeling the benefits of my exercising and started to realize how relaxed I was around moving or not moving in my day.
Only then did I move towards working with the ‘eating’ element. I needed to challenge to the ‘old way’ of eating, where I would eat too much and put weight on. I had thoughts related to ‘falling off my diet and now gaining all my weight back’ or ‘needing to exercise in order to control my weight.’ My thoughts helped me to discover I had many belief systems related to food. This was huge for me. I observed things like needing to eat digestive enzymes with meals and apple cider vinegar with desserts because I didn’t trust my body could deal with ‘what’ I was eating.
My new approach to eating was now focused on challenging many belief systems. I became less obsessed with over eating and more focused on my feelings. What was I feeling inside, in relation to what was going on around me when I reached for the food. Yes, there were days when I ate more than my tummy could handle or when I ate the wrong foods, but I no longer was associating food with the need to exercise. I began to relax around the amount of food I ate or didn’t eat. My eating was now independent from the exercising.
Gaining independence has rewarded me with a new approach to living life. I’ve noticed living life isn’t about thinking of things like, ‘when I get there, then I’ll be done’ or ‘once I lose weight, I’ll feel so much better.’ Life is a process of living each day independent from the day before.
Do you have areas in your life where you are feeling dependent? You can’t do this because of that. You don’t take time for this because of that. Your dependence may be causing you to feel tired and restricted in your day to day life. Are there any belief systems you can challenge moving you towards gaining more independence?
Living life can be about gaining awareness through each experience. Awareness can help you to observe what you’re thinking and feeling. You can challenge your belief systems in order to gain independence and now create the life and circumstances you truly want in your life.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship Renovator