Born an identical twin I grew up with people comparing us all the time. They would look to see how identical we were and would also look for the differences so they could easily tell us apart.
Often times our mom would try to make it easy for people telling them things she knew to be different about us…some of which didn’t feel so complimentary. From my experience, it feels much better to be on the favorable side of the comparison. Just saying…
Comparisons don’t only happen with identical twins. We compare ourselves to others without being aware of it. We tend to compare ourselves when we’re not feeling good about ourselves like we’re lacking something. We see someone who has the qualities we want and the comparisons begin.
Comparing creates stress for two reasons:
1. energetically it feels like we can’t measure up or that we’ll never have what the other person has or be as good as they are. We’ll be reaching for something that doesn’t feel attainable…at least not according to us.
2. Focusing outwardly doesn’t allow us to accept or appreciate the gifts we’ve been blessed with inside. We can’t see our own strengths when focused on the strengths of others.
Both reasons create some kind of stress within and leaves us feeling lost and less than others. It’s through our own grace and awareness that allows us to heal where we no longer need to make comparisons of any kind.
In one of my coaching sessions with my Guru…I asked him how I was doing in comparison to the others. He told me to not compare myself and went on to explain how each one of us is in our own university, with our own Divine. He was in his own university and I was in my own. Comparing is a waste of time and energy.
I started thinking about that and realized how true and applicable that concept was for me. I’ve entered my own university under the guidance of my own Divine. I chose the classes I wanted to attend and the kinds of things I wanted to experience, all of which continue to help me to learn, grow, heal and evolve.
Sometimes we struggle through the classes and sometimes we soar right through them passing with flying colors.
One of the beautiful things about being the only one in our university with our own Divine has to do with the people we’ve been comparing ourselves to. Those people are divinely placed within our curriculum helping us to learn additional life skills necessary for graduation.
There’s no pressure to complete all our classes in the least amount of time. We’re guaranteed to graduate and be at the top of our class.
I used to compare myself a lot. It didn’t feel good when I was young and it sure doesn’t feel good now. Knowing that I’ve chosen my own university brings me a lot of peace and grace inside. Graduation is closer than I think.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find your own truth…find what works for you… And you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Emotional Intelligence Specialist
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