I remember years ago the transition I personally went through when it came to problem solving. I tried to get the people outside of me to make changes and that would somehow magically make the problems go away!
I tried to make my dad to stop yelling at my mom. Every time he yelled in my presence I got mad and yelled at him to stop. To me if he stopped yelling I wouldn’t have to get mad. Back then it didn’t occur to me to look inside myself to see why I was reacting to what he was doing!
It can be pretty easy to get caught up in what other people are doing, especially if it makes you upset. You tend to think they are the reason why you get upset.
Check in with your life as it is right now. Do you find you get upset about different things? For example, your sibling is always telling you what to do and it’s starting to aggravate you. Your partner/spouse continues to come home from work upset taking it out on the family. You don’t even feel like staying home anymore. Issues with your children are starting to irritate you. Can you relate to any of those?
I have clients who get caught up in the anger of another person. I guided them to think of that anger and notice what was going on inside. For example, anger from another person can cause you to shut down, can make you want to run and hide or make you want to leave altogether. Any one of those can be very disempowering. Feeling disempowered was the issue that client worked through. They got to a place where they could deal with anger from anyone and still stay empowered.
Think of a problem you are dealing with right now. Maybe you’re finding it hard to resolve.
Resolve the conflict inside yourself FIRST! Then show up more empowered to deal with problems in your life!
Another client got caught up in the judgments of others making them wrong for what they did. The grudge they held started to manifest as heart burn. The transformation in this client healed not only their physical body but their relationships with others.
If you do get caught up in what others do, notice how it takes your attention and focus away from yourself. Then from there you can make an effort to take your attention back inside yourself. It will be inside yourself you find resolution. What is causing you to feel what you do? What is the pain you are feeling inside?
Resolve inside what you don’t like in relationships first then show up more powerfully to bring about the required changes for your relationships to flourish!
For me, I would leave my parents home so mad because of dad’s yelling. I got caught up in thinking yelling wasn’t nice and he shouldn’t be doing it. I did what I could to make the yelling in their home stop. That was not helping me to resolve the conflict I was feeling inside myself. I realized if I wanted to feel better…I needed to make the changes inside. When I did, I could stay present when my dad was yelling and it didn’t affect me at all. That totally changed my relationship with my dad!
This is totally possible for you in your life now! To heal your relationships, to resolve your problems. When you find yourself getting upset in some way, ask yourself questions which lead you to resolve the upset inside. Questions like, ‘what made you so mad in that moment? Why do you keep getting angry like that?’ Your intention in asking is to go inside yourself! You are the one feeling the upset.
When you go inside, pay attention to three things:
- thoughts running through your head (what are you saying to yourself);
- emotions you are feeling (can be a combination of emotions);
- physical body sensations like pain, aches, tension, etc (these draw you back into yourself)
The Universe continually communicates with you in support of helping you resolve the unrest or conflict inside.
Do you find you spend a lot of time and energy trying to get the people outside of you to make changes? Will that somehow magically make your problems go away? I invite you to consider The Unique Approach to resolving problems. You will always be rewarded for doing your inner work.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Transformation Coach, Physical Intuitive
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