When I first started learning to work with the energy body, I had my sights set on changing and fixing my family. To me, they were the ones that needed to change. Little did I know I was learning more than I realized!
Energetically speaking, we’re affected by what others do and the same is true that others are affected by what we do. I feel this is why people in general tend to put so much energy into changing and fixing others. If others stopped doing the things that bothered them, people would feel better.
Think of your current relationships. Where do your thoughts go when someone close to you does something that really upsets you? Do you eventually check inside yourself to see why that upsets you or do you look to the other person to stop doing what they’re doing? There is no right or wrong answer here. This is only about being aware.
Some of the people you interact with are fun and you enjoy being around them because you can just be yourself. Then there are some who are annoying and can be quite difficult to be around. You can’t quite be yourself and try to change or fix them in some way.
We’re affected inwardly when it comes to our actions and reactions in response to what’s happening around us. All we have to do is think about someone and how we feel about them surfaces in our energy. Those feelings impact more than just our energy.
There are 3 fields of energy in every relationship:
- energy of you – field A;
- energy of the other person – field B; and
- energy that exists between the two of you – field C.
If we don’t like what we feel in relation to another person, for so long we’ve been focused on pointing fingers at what they’re doing. They should be the ones to stop doing things so we feel better. I know this first-hand; that’s why I tried so hard to change and fix my family. And as much as I tried to do that, they didn’t change and I continued to get upset with what they’re doing. Time after time my awareness grew and I began to see what actually had to change. It was in me. Why? Because I was the one reacting inside in relation to what others were or weren’t doing outside of me.
Consider this…it is less common to find people who are actually aware of what’s going on inside of themselves. There’s nothing more powerful than your own grace and awareness. Why? Because when you become aware that you’re reacting and trying to change another human being you’ll be able to step back and make a new choice in that moment of awareness.
There’s one very important fact to realize when it comes to the 3 fields of energy. If person A or B make a change within themselves, that change instantly impacts all three fields of energy. For example, when person A does some healing work of some kind, their energy is vibrating differently. That new vibration now impacts the energy between two people (field C) resulting in a natural change now to person B. This fact is why any healing work you do for yourself impacts all relationships around you.
The unexpected learning I received? It became very obvious to me that my family changed naturally when I worked on my own reactions. I truly believe we’re always rewarded for doing our inner work.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship Coach and Spiritual Teacher
