It can be very humbling when our conditioning surfaces causing hurt to someone else. That hurt may be intentional or unintentional. Allow me to share….
I’m experiencing a number of changes around my business. I’m finding myself to be very busy these days….in a most glorious wonderful way! Being busy means I’m not as productive doing the household chores.
My coaching has picked up greatly. With the added preparation for my new upcoming group series, as well as the facilitation I’m doing with the Oneness events, I’ve been feeling extra pressure to get things done.
This past weekend I was facilitating an event. There were feelings of fear and pressure along with the excitement. When I arrived back home I had asked my husband, Jimmy if he had done a couple of things around the home that needed to be done. He shared he did the dishes and took care of some ice we had outside on the walkway. I could feel Jimmy was so proud of all he had accomplished in his day. I was not in a place of feeling grateful for what he had done so I didn’t say anything. I noticed I started to close down and not say anything. It wasn’t long after I was home I went to bed feeling drained.
The next morning when I went into meditation I was shown what had taken place the night before!
I could see so clearly how I was acting out the conditioning I had growing up. I felt awful….and I mean awful. I could hear the words my dad used. He would be upset about something and tell my mom she sat around all day doing nothing. Personally I didn’t like how he talked to my mom that way. It bothered me inside to the point I made sure I always got things done regardless of how I felt.
Now I was seeing my dad in me and that did not feel good at all. Something I didn’t like my dad to do to my mom…I now found I was doing with my husband. It was never my intention to hurt him and yet indirectly by closing down and not talking gave him a message that was not very loving. I cried so hard. My Divine took over in the healing process.
My behavior implied Jimmy did nothing all day which was not a truth at all. For me to not even acknowledge what he did was the part that bothered me the most. Those bothersome thoughts of being ungrateful helped me to look inside myself and receive the gift of the healing around this conditioning.
When Jimmy woke up I immediately talked with him about what I had been shown. My conditioning had played out and he was on the receiving end.
I started to express my gratitude to my husband…sharing how grateful I was when I went into the kitchen that morning and there wasn’t a dirty dish anywhere. I shared how much I appreciated him taking care of the ice outside our home. It was so important to me to set ‘right’ our relationship once again.
From my experience, our conditioning shows up through people, things and situations which cause us to react in some way. When we become aware of what is going on inside of us…in relation to what is taking place outside of us…the healing begins. We start to see our lessons.
I am so grateful for the unfolding of how this conditioning played out for my greatest learning and growing. I am so blessed to have a husband who walks beside me with unconditional love and grace. The timing is always perfect!
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach