3 Empowering Points about Attachments

Life has a way of showing us we have an ‘attachment’ to someone/something!

Late last year I created a new business name (The Unique Approach) with the intention of going into the school systems to bring about awareness around social and emotional learning. Part of that creation was a new website. In March of this year, I was finishing that new website. Things were moving along quite well until a combination of events caused the website Unique Energy to be unexpectedly deleted from cyberspace forever! I still remember that day!

Something that had been a part of my life for so long…was all of a sudden gone! I remember sitting there hearing the gentleman from the hosting company tell me the website was gone and it would cost hundreds of dollars to try to retrieve it. It was like being in a state of shock wondering if what I was hearing was real. I hung up the phone and didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I was very aware of the feelings inside of me. Unique Energy…I came to see it was part of my identity! An identity I liked about myself and felt proud. Then there was the realization I had an attachment to that name…to that website. So many thoughts ran through my mind.

We can have attachments to outcomes…wanting results to be a certain way. That can be in every part of our lives…not just with people. Attachments can show up through us wanting people to do certain things…or be a certain way especially if we have an investment in a relationship. One lady explained it using the words, “we attach a specialness to it.” Attachments can involve possession…emotionally attached.

Can we get away from attachments? We may not even know we have an attachment until the time comes for us to know! How will we know? We will know inside of ourselves when something is gone (taken away) or when something doesn’t turn out the way we want it to.

Consider these 3 empowering points about attachments:

1. Recognize there is an attachment…and then also recognize what is going on when whatever you are attached to is not there. Attachments are neither good nor bad, neither right nor wrong. Being aware we have an attachment is the first step in resolving ‘unrest’ inside. When I talk about ‘unrest’ I’m talking about things we aren’t at peace with.
2. At a time when we realize we have an attachment, any number of emotions can surface for any reason. Notice what you are feeling inside. Attachments can act as security blankets offering us some kind of comfort…offering us an element of safety. Once they are gone, emotions can surface. For example, fear can present itself in the perception of ‘losing’ something. The opposite effect can be there as well. Fear can present itself if we perceive we are ‘gaining’ something in return.
3. What ‘part’ are you attached to? This may sound like an odd question and is a very important question! Allow me to give you some examples of the varied ‘parts’ I’m referring to. Are you attached to ‘having or not having’ that friend, that thing, that situation? Does it have to do with identity or the role you held? Is it about loss…about freedom…maybe about being lonely? Is the part you are attached to about change or movement (maybe getting a nudge from the universe?) What is it for you?

Everyday life offers us opportunities to learn and grow. Attachments can be one avenue for us to experience much healing inside. The Universe helped nudge me along my journey. I can look back now and celebrate the change.

I wish you much joy in your day…and many giggles in your conversations as you continue to journey into spring…..

Sheila Unique, Relationship Coach