In the last week I’ve been involved in two conversations where we talked about our thoughts. I felt you may benefit from the learning involved. Allow me to share…
The first conversation took place in Hawaii. November of this year I was there at a retreat. I had asked a lady how she deals with situations when she is feeling uncomfortable. For example, how does she deal with feeling uncomfortable around certain people or situations she finds herself in? Her reply had to do with ‘not taking ownership’ of her thoughts. When thoughts come up, she lets them go through her without claiming them as her own or without identifying with them. If she is feeling drained she just allows the drained feeling to move through her without thinking the feeling has to do with this or that. She also added she asks her Divine for the grace to be open, receptive and grateful for whatever is taking place at the time. The second conversation was with one of my daughters. When we were talking, she innocently made the comment of how she doesn’t like to talk about what she thinks is happening to her. She feels talking about what she’s thinking brings her thoughts to life; she said ‘it gets too real’ so she doesn’t do it. Have you consciously thought about your thoughts lately? What do you do with the thoughts that run through your mind? Do you think of them as a truth? Do you take ownership making them your own and giving those thoughts power over you? I would be willing to go out on a limb and say if you do…you are like the rest of us in the world. What can you do to change that? From my experience, being aware of the thoughts you have, at the time you are having them is the most important step in resolving any uncomfortable feelings you experience along with those thoughts. The source of your thoughts is not something you have control over at all. What you do have control over is your awareness and what you do with that awareness. Recognizing your thoughts are just thoughts helps greatly. Thoughts will be there one minute and gone the next. You can’t hold onto a thought no matter how hard you try. You can’t say, ‘oh I like this thought I’m going to hold onto it.’ Thoughts do not work that way. Some thoughts come and go and some thoughts stick around for a while. The thoughts that stick around for a while tend to be the ones you don’t want to think about and can be bothersome in nature. When you are aware of the thoughts you don’t want to think about….I invite you to consider the following: 1. Notice how you feel an inner fight or struggle with yourself in relation to the thoughts; 2. Start to mentally challenge the thoughts, not taking ownership of or identifying with any of them; 3. Ask your Divine to help you to be open, receptive and grateful for whatever you may be experiencing in that moment. Thoughts you don’t want to think about can be both positive and negative in nature. I invite you to observe your thoughts over the next while and let me know what comes up for you. The learning and growing will offer you much grace in the process. I would love to hear from you. You are welcome to share…. As we head into the festive season….I wish you and your families a blessed and prosperous Christmas. May you experience joy and laughter as you continue to journey forward with each new day. Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker |
Looking Outside Your Self!
Do you ever catch yourself looking at someone and thinking you would like to have what they have? I’ll give you an example of what that may look like!
Let’s say you see a woman getting a compliment from a man. She looks so happy to have that attention. As you continue to look at her, you notice she is slim and dressed really classy. You think to yourself, ‘she is slim maybe if I lost some weight and dress like that men would give me that kind of attention too.’
Another example, you look at your friend whose life partner takes time to kiss them on the cheek before they go to work. The two of them look so in love. You catch yourself wishing your life partner would do that for you. These kinds of thoughts don’t only happen in your personal life.
Your thoughts can carry over into your professional life. Let’s say you are in the profession of being a teacher. You look over at another teacher who seems to really be able to keep the classroom under control. As you watch the teacher for a bit you start to think if you were like that teacher you would be able to keep your classroom under control.
Have you ever done that? If you have, when you catch yourself looking at others and having those kinds of thoughts, what are you actually ‘looking at?’ Do you find yourself thinking about being like the person you are looking at or do you get caught up in being treated the way those people are being treated? There is a difference.
In the first example above are you ‘hung up’ on wanting to be slim and dress classy or does your focus go over to how that lady is being treated? Are you focusing on the people or the behaviors?
To help you answer that, it’s important to consider these three things:
- How you are feeling at that time? Usually when you are going through a stage where your self esteem or confidence is low you may tend to compare what you have to what others have. You may look for things that you perceive will make you feel better. If someone is doing something which makes them feel good, you may think you need to do that and then you will also feel good. That may not work for you.
- Where you are looking for the change? It can be very easy to get caught up in what you are seeing in others. Looking outside yourself takes your attention off of what you are feeling on the inside! You may think looking at what others have or what they are doing can be motivating for you to make a change within yourself. It will serve you greater to go inside yourself and be with the feelings you are experiencing at this time.
- What you are focusing on? Focusing on others can be a distraction. Recognizing you are in that place of ‘wanting something someone else has’ can serve you well. That recognition is the beginning of a process of discovering what’s really going on inside of you in relation to what you are seeing outside of you.
To look at someone and think to yourself, ‘if only I looked like them or acted like them I would get what they have’ that is so not true! Many elements come into play when it comes to what you have or don’t have in your life. One thing for sure, self awareness is an important element and will reward you greatly.
Is this something you can relate to? It would be wonderful if you shared your thoughts and experiences around that.
Blessings to you always…
Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker
Channeling Your Inner Elder
Authenticity also shows up in how we are in business. If you are considering a profession in professional speaking…you may benefit from Teresa’s article below. Enjoy!
Channeling Your Inner Elder – harnessing fear in your toughest business moments!
Shirley stood on stage facilitating. Courageous. Influential peers stared up at her from the audience. Her facilitation was confident but at the same time wooden. A bit too forceful. A bit too “put on”. No one could fault her facilitation nor would anyone really praise it. It was simply good. Not exceptional.
In the influence game, understanding the distinction between good and exceptional is subtle. The difference lies in authenticity. My definition of authenticity is whether your inner voice is saying the same thing as your outer voice. So any situation that bring up fear and nervousness puts your authenticity at risk.
Many facilitators and speakers make the mistake of thinking they’re putting on a role when they step on stage. Or they “channel” another really great speaker, such as Gandhi or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
These techniques are not “wrong”, yet it’s not authentic and can be effective. It results in the kind of wooden, too forceful, put-on kind of speech that one might consider “good” but not “exceptional”.
The best thing you can do for your own influence is to be yourself, 100%. Don’t act the way you think others want you to act, don’t channel someone else. Channel you.
And if you absolutely need to channel someone, channel your inner elder. A wiser, more adept version of yourself from the future.
The difference is always memorable.
2 keys to remember:
- Put all your focus on serving your audience. Anything going on with you, fear, back pain, an itchy nose, can be parked for later.
- If you need to channel someone, make it an older, wiser, awesome version of yourself.
About the Author – Teresa de Grosbois is the #1 International Bestselling author of Mass Influence, 4X Best selling author, International Speaker and the Founder of the Evolutionary Business Council.
If you’d like to learn how to increase your influence, click here to download your complimentary digital copy of the #1 International Bestseller Mass Influence
Teresa’s passionate goal is to have transformational principles touch the lives of 1.2 Billion people by 2020, by growing 1200 thought-leaders.
Follow Teresa on Twitter, Like on Facebook or Email at Teresa@WildfireWS.com
Reasons to be Interviewed on Radio
When I read this article from Debbi…I was excited to share it with you. You may just be stepping into a new phase of your life. Debbi may be the one to help you….enjoy. Sheila
Reasons To Be Interviewed on the Radio by Debbi Dachinger
In my experience it is great to be on radio. I am known on both sides of the microphone. I host a high-end, award-winning, syndicated radio show and as well I am interviewed as a guest sometimes several times each week, as a Success or Media Expert.
I started out only as a radio host and years later my broadcast program is syndicated on sixty six stations. I really enjoy interviewing people and I have spoken with many authors on my show, which means I’ve spent a tremendous amount of time reading each interview guest’s book before featuring them on Dare to Dream radio.
I myself have written multiple books and I’m interviewed flushing out questions which include very important points so you can promote everything you do and be the best at stimulating book sales and being interviewed.
Being an author myself who’s interviewed, and interviewing authors I am keenly aware of how they present themselves and the impact their interview skills make.
I wrote my first book and started being invited onto programs as a guest expert. I wrote a second book, both international bestsellers, and more stations, magazine and broadcast hosts wanted to interview me. I initially began the interview merely for book promotion, however a lovely surprise occurred, and I don’t know how to emphasize this enough – that it’s changed my life in the best possible ways. I didn’t have any foreshadowing that writing books and opening the door to appearing on media would ultimately charge my career path and truly opened doors for me to speak on stages and teach classes globally and become known in this niche media field.
Although I am still putting out books such as this one, years after my books were released I am still called to Teleseminars, to be interviewed, to appear on radio shows and when share the information and my messages that started in my books on a big platform and to audiences worldwide.
In 2015, Nielsen ratings wrote: “Of the 243 million Americans (aged 12 or older) using radio each week, 66.6 million of them are Millennials. This far outpaces the size of the weekly Generation X and Boomer radio audiences, with 57.9 million weekly listeners each. The younger generation also listens to a lot! Millennials spend more than 11 hours a week with radio, and nearly three quarters (73%) of their listening occurs while outside the home and close to making purchasing decisions.”
This too is available for you. It depends on how far you want to take it and how much you are willing to put into it. When people put some attention and energy on media that’s all it takes to get it started and begin opening doors. The exposure and the breakthrough of what’s possible is why we are having this conversation about the next level which is media and specifically about radio. I will address that being a quite comfortable radio host does not equal a quite comfortable radio interview featured guest. It is a whole new set of skills to switch to the other side of the microphone and be the one being interviewed.
When you’re ready to be coached and interviewed on radio or take a book you’ve written to bestseller status it is time to up your game through a guaranteed best-selling book launch.
I’d like to hear from you. Debbi
BIO:
DEBBI DACHINGER hosts a cutting-edge talk radio show about success, “DARE TO DREAM” syndicated on 66 stations, is a popular media guest and speaker, a keynote at high level national events; an international best-selling author; and sought after media coach. Debbi runs the Bestseller Launch Program taking self-published authors to bestselling book status. Debbi also runs Radio Mastery Training for entrepreneurs, speakers and authors ready to accelerate their skills in messaging on the radio; her clients become savvy, successful and superb while on air. She is a certified Dream Coach. http://MyBestsellerBook.com