| In the last week I’ve been involved in two conversations where we talked about our thoughts. I felt you may benefit from the learning involved. Allow me to share…
The first conversation took place in Hawaii. November of this year I was there at a retreat. I had asked a lady how she deals with situations when she is feeling uncomfortable. For example, how does she deal with feeling uncomfortable around certain people or situations she finds herself in? Her reply had to do with ‘not taking ownership’ of her thoughts. When thoughts come up, she lets them go through her without claiming them as her own or without identifying with them. If she is feeling drained she just allows the drained feeling to move through her without thinking the feeling has to do with this or that. She also added she asks her Divine for the grace to be open, receptive and grateful for whatever is taking place at the time. The second conversation was with one of my daughters. When we were talking, she innocently made the comment of how she doesn’t like to talk about what she thinks is happening to her. She feels talking about what she’s thinking brings her thoughts to life; she said ‘it gets too real’ so she doesn’t do it. Have you consciously thought about your thoughts lately? What do you do with the thoughts that run through your mind? Do you think of them as a truth? Do you take ownership making them your own and giving those thoughts power over you? I would be willing to go out on a limb and say if you do…you are like the rest of us in the world. What can you do to change that? From my experience, being aware of the thoughts you have, at the time you are having them is the most important step in resolving any uncomfortable feelings you experience along with those thoughts. The source of your thoughts is not something you have control over at all. What you do have control over is your awareness and what you do with that awareness. Recognizing your thoughts are just thoughts helps greatly. Thoughts will be there one minute and gone the next. You can’t hold onto a thought no matter how hard you try. You can’t say, ‘oh I like this thought I’m going to hold onto it.’ Thoughts do not work that way. Some thoughts come and go and some thoughts stick around for a while. The thoughts that stick around for a while tend to be the ones you don’t want to think about and can be bothersome in nature. When you are aware of the thoughts you don’t want to think about….I invite you to consider the following: 1. Notice how you feel an inner fight or struggle with yourself in relation to the thoughts; 2. Start to mentally challenge the thoughts, not taking ownership of or identifying with any of them; 3. Ask your Divine to help you to be open, receptive and grateful for whatever you may be experiencing in that moment. Thoughts you don’t want to think about can be both positive and negative in nature. I invite you to observe your thoughts over the next while and let me know what comes up for you. The learning and growing will offer you much grace in the process. I would love to hear from you. You are welcome to share…. As we head into the festive season….I wish you and your families a blessed and prosperous Christmas. May you experience joy and laughter as you continue to journey forward with each new day. Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker |
Can’t be my issue!
After coaching two people in a row for the same challenge I wanted to share this concept with you!
One lady asked me to help with her relationship with her husband. Her attraction to him was becoming less and less. This wasn’t about him as her husband. I could feel she was bothered about the ‘image’ she had of him.
One of the things this lady was bothered about had to do with her husband’s weight. When I heard this I shared with her how that was one thing bothering her about herself! For a while now she was expressing her dissatisfaction towards herself for putting on extra pounds.
Then I helped her to see some of the things she loved about herself. For example, this lady loves her eyes and her hair. She also loved her husband’s eyes and hair. She started to see the unrest she was feeling with her husband was also unrest she had towards herself.
Another lady asked me for help with the relationship with her husband. She was upset because he wasn’t being positive and was acting increasingly depressed. As much as she tried to help him, he wasn’t willing to do things to change.
We talked about how she had been working with herself for those same challenges. What was still bothering her? She shared how she would catch herself cutting herself down for not being positive.
I talked about how she was ok with her husband’s physical features and his strong business sense. She was not okay with his emotional state.
What am I showing you as the reader?
Most often the things that bother you about the people around you may be something you find hard to be with inside yourself! This commonly happens with spouses and family members. You will have judgment relating to whatever the person is or isn’t doing.
Consider this…whenever you find you can’t accept something in another person, the thing you can’t accept will surface in the form of dissatisfaction within yourself.
Being aware of what you are experiencing is important. People around you are instrumental in guiding you to feelings you have inside yourself. Inside yourself is where the change takes place moving you even closer to loving yourself.
I invite you to find your own truth in what I share today…..
Sheila Unique, Transformation Coach
Gifts from our Parents
Have you ever been frustrated by the things your parents do? Maybe the way they handle money upsets you; maybe the foods they chose to eat bother you; maybe their inactivity makes you mad. How can you work with that?
Growing up as a child there may have been things we didn’t like about our parents causing us to feel frustrated. Now as adults we may find those same frustrations appear with other people in our life. Not only are we finding those frustrations with others, we also ‘bump’ into the same challenges with our self! Why is that?
At one point we experienced life as this child looking up to our parents. There were things we liked and then there were things we didn’t like. When we moved away from home, we may have thought we were better able to handle the things that bothered us about our parents. We head off to work…maybe get married…maybe have children and one day…bang! We bump into the same things that frustrated us about our parents….only this time we see them in our Self! Have you ever experienced that?
For me, personally I didn’t like how hard it was at times to get my mom to do things. We would ask her and her reply would be to say no. Over time that frustrated me. I didn’t realize how deep that frustration was until now.
These past few weeks I’ve been finding it hard to get ‘me’ out of bed in the morning. The conversations I have with my Self have been very interesting to say the least. This is not normal for me! It was time to become aware of what I was being shown.
I started noticing heavy dense energy present when gearing up to ‘do’ a number of things. Then out of the blue I was talking with a friend. This friend was sharing how frustrated she was with her mother. She also shared the same frustration towards herself. What a gift! Those were words I needed to hear to resolve my challenge!
Allow me to add at this point…since being back from India I’ve been working on accepting and loving myself more. After talking with my friend, I could so easily see how I was working with a frustration I had with my own mom. In order for me to love myself more…I needed to move through that challenge. Putting that another way, I experienced the frustration I had was getting in the way of loving my Self!
Going from a child looking up at our parents…we may now see our ‘inner child’ may be looking up to us as the parent. That child in us may see frustrations we recognize we had with our own parents. Seeing that, we can now resolve and heal those frustrations. This results in a greater love for both our parents and our Self .
Frustrations we have with our parents can actually be amazing gifts when it comes to loving ourselves! We are always rewarded for doing our inner work!
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
I wish you so much inner peace and joy.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach
Coaching Professional Women thru pain to have clarity, passion and forward action!
Take Out of the Moment
What is it to ‘take’ someone out of the moment?
As a Oneness Trainer I facilitated an event which takes people into higher states of consciousness. After the event was over a lady was sharing with me how she was seeing beautiful colors. I could feel her sharing from such a beautiful state of being.
As I was being with her I remembered something she was involved in last year (a family member married). I asked her how that wedding went. She replied saying good and immediately went back to talking about the beautiful colors she was seeing.
In that moment…I recognized what I had done! I had ‘taken’ her out of the moment she was feeling. That awareness gave me a huge gift for me as a trainer. I can use that learning in every part of my life. The learning was presented to me in a gentle and kind way….all of which I am so grateful for.
Have you ever done something like that?
Here are some examples of what that may look like in everyday life….
- Take someone out of whatever they are feeling…regardless if they are feeling happy or sad. You may try to change the subject and try to get them to feel something else.
- Your partner may want to become intimate with you and you change the subject or bring up other problems to take their mind away from the moment;
- Whenever you’re in a position of confrontation…you ‘snap out of it’ and talk about something else.
If you look around throughout your week, you may find you do that to others…along with doing it to yourself. It can be pretty easy to do. I know I’ve experienced it. Being aware of what that looks like…feels like…sounds like leads you to a place of staying in the present moment.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach