| As we head into 2017, I invite you to do some soul searching. I invite you to question in your own heart information you have come to ‘know’ about things like your health, relationships and even finances. What prompted this?
So many of my clients have been stepping forward talking about different medical tests they have had and the results that surprised them. For example, last week one lady went through a procedure where they scoped her stomach. The procedure took only a few minutes and the most amazing thing about it was she got pictures of her esophagus, stomach and duodenum. These parts looked healthy and strong. The doctor was pleased. When the lady was sharing her pictures she made the comment about how pink and healthy everything looked, even though she smokes. Another client was talking about all the ongoing issues she’s had with her gallbladder. Her last gallbladder attack put her in the hospital where she thought for sure she would be having her gallbladder removed. To her surprise, the medical team told her she only had an infection and because the gallbladder wasn’t swollen at all they weren’t going to remove it! Another client has what could be explained as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Whenever he is stressed and worried about something, he has so many bowels movements. As soon as he eats he’s in the washroom a numbers of times in a day. That’s whenever he eats. This gentleman went for colonoscopy. To his surprise the inside of his bowels were a bright pink! He was told there was nothing wrong with his bowels. All of these people thought something was really wrong with their body parts. Back and forth to the doctors they would go. Could you imagine what must have been going through their minds to learn there wasn’t anything wrong with their physical parts? Are you in a place where you know something is ‘wrong’ about your physical body, people or situations in your life? Maybe you know something is wrong with your stomach. Maybe you know that person is wrong for your son/daughter. Maybe you know your aging parents are in the wrong place. Are they really wrong? I invite you to consider this. What you perceive is painful may not be what you have come to ‘know’ it is. You may think pain is physical indicating something is really wrong….is it? There are so many times I work with people who come to a session with pain in their physical body. When they leave that pain is gone! Pain is not only physical! Pain is preceded by a thought…and that thought involves mental and emotional pain which can manifest in the physical body as pain. Given the right tools, any pain can be brought to a state of calm and healing. Are things as bad as you think they are? This year I invite you to really question what you think you ‘know’ about something. I’m talking in all areas of your life. Where you think something isn’t right or not good for you and even the others in your life…I invite you to step back and re-visit your perceptions. Like others in my life, you may be pleasantly surprised to find what you came to know as being true isn’t true at all. Life becomes a little more interesting every new day. May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside. Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker |
What…a new way to look at the concept of mirroring?
Recently I had a client who I’ll call Martha. Martha was expressing how someone told her what she saw outside of her was what she had inside of her. That upset her and she wanted to know how to deal with that.
I started out by referencing the concept of mirroring. The concept of what you see in others you have in yourself! For example, if you see a number of people around you who are angry those people are mirroring back you are angry inside. Martha had some people in her life she didn’t get along with. She couldn’t understand how she was like them and asked for clarification on how to even work with that.
It was a very enlightening experience bringing thru some interesting information. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this.
Every day in your life you see many personality types and different behaviors. You may even experience people getting emotional over things. Watching the news can cause people to get upset about things they perceive are unjust. In your working environment people can react to not getting a raise or not liking the extra work load. Even shopping can subject you to situations causing you to feel uncomfortable.
Why is it you spend more time getting worked up about some negative behaviors and you’re okay with others? How come your attention stays focused for longer periods of time on something that really bugs you? Maybe you’re not aware of this.
With everything you see, how come there are times when you get emotionally drawn in and then there are times when you don’t? Have you ever given that a thought?
Let’s say in one day you saw these three situations.
The first one you are grocery shopping. You happen to be walking by another shopper who can’t find what they are looking for. You see they are getting mad. That other shopper happens to see a gentleman stocking the shelves. They immediately head over there and start yelling at him for not having what they needed.
The second one you are in a meeting at work. One of the employees you work with starts to get mad about a pending change. They raise their voice to the place where they are yelling.
The third situation you are at home and the neighbors down the street are very angry and are yelling at each other.
All three situations have to do with someone getting mad and yelling. If you used the concept of mirroring, the situations would mirror back there is anger inside you to the point you could yell. Could that be true for you?
Personally I feel it’s not about mirroring something back to you. It’s about being aware of your reactions inside in relation to what is taking place outside of you!
If you see someone angry and you can be okay with what’s taking place, there is no reaction. Having no reaction at all is a sign you are okay with whatever is taking place. Let me point out this is not about caring and not caring.
Now if you see someone angry and you start to get all worked up, you are reacting! Reacting is a sign to pay attention. In that moment of reacting notice the dynamics taking place. What’s going on for you?
It is far more important to be aware of what’s going on inside of you in relation to what is going on outside of you. In other words, regardless of what you are seeing and the number of times you are seeing it, how you feel on the inside is most important for your own healing. If you get ‘lost’ in the whole mirroring thing focusing on what others are doing….that takes you away from what you are feeling! Staying with your feelings is where you will experience change.
Through my many years of working with people, I’ve observed the majority of people are not aware of why they are reacting in the first place! They are not aware of the feelings they are experiencing. Why would that be?
Let’s say you found yourself feeling stressed over the person in the grocery store who got mad and yelled at the store clerk. What are you feeling stressed about? It may have to do with you thinking that store clerk could be like your son and you wouldn’t like that to happen to your son. It may have to do with you just wanting to have a nice quiet day where no one causes you stress. You may be worked up about something totally unrelated. You were going to ask that store clerk a question and now this other person has that clerk running in circles. The most important thing to remember when feeling stressed is to be aware you are reacting. From there, when you can, go inside to feel what the reaction is all about!
To look at the situation and say something is being mirrored back may not be the truth for you. You may not see what’s mirrored back but you know you are stressed about something. Your reactions can always lead you inside to resolve whatever you are feeling. When you resolve what you’re feeling at that time the reaction will be done!
Are you starting to see the mirroring concept differently? I would love to hear from you.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Master Intuitive
Gifts from our Parents
Have you ever been frustrated by the things your parents do? Maybe the way they handle money upsets you; maybe the foods they chose to eat bother you; maybe their inactivity makes you mad. How can you work with that?
Growing up as a child there may have been things we didn’t like about our parents causing us to feel frustrated. Now as adults we may find those same frustrations appear with other people in our life. Not only are we finding those frustrations with others, we also ‘bump’ into the same challenges with our self! Why is that?
At one point we experienced life as this child looking up to our parents. There were things we liked and then there were things we didn’t like. When we moved away from home, we may have thought we were better able to handle the things that bothered us about our parents. We head off to work…maybe get married…maybe have children and one day…bang! We bump into the same things that frustrated us about our parents….only this time we see them in our Self! Have you ever experienced that?
For me, personally I didn’t like how hard it was at times to get my mom to do things. We would ask her and her reply would be to say no. Over time that frustrated me. I didn’t realize how deep that frustration was until now.
These past few weeks I’ve been finding it hard to get ‘me’ out of bed in the morning. The conversations I have with my Self have been very interesting to say the least. This is not normal for me! It was time to become aware of what I was being shown.
I started noticing heavy dense energy present when gearing up to ‘do’ a number of things. Then out of the blue I was talking with a friend. This friend was sharing how frustrated she was with her mother. She also shared the same frustration towards herself. What a gift! Those were words I needed to hear to resolve my challenge!
Allow me to add at this point…since being back from India I’ve been working on accepting and loving myself more. After talking with my friend, I could so easily see how I was working with a frustration I had with my own mom. In order for me to love myself more…I needed to move through that challenge. Putting that another way, I experienced the frustration I had was getting in the way of loving my Self!
Going from a child looking up at our parents…we may now see our ‘inner child’ may be looking up to us as the parent. That child in us may see frustrations we recognize we had with our own parents. Seeing that, we can now resolve and heal those frustrations. This results in a greater love for both our parents and our Self .
Frustrations we have with our parents can actually be amazing gifts when it comes to loving ourselves! We are always rewarded for doing our inner work!
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
I wish you so much inner peace and joy.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach
Coaching Professional Women thru pain to have clarity, passion and forward action!
Conditioning that Hurts
It can be very humbling when our conditioning surfaces causing hurt to someone else. That hurt may be intentional or unintentional. Allow me to share….
I’m experiencing a number of changes around my business. I’m finding myself to be very busy these days….in a most glorious wonderful way! Being busy means I’m not as productive doing the household chores.
My coaching has picked up greatly. With the added preparation for my new upcoming group series, as well as the facilitation I’m doing with the Oneness events, I’ve been feeling extra pressure to get things done.
This past weekend I was facilitating an event. There were feelings of fear and pressure along with the excitement. When I arrived back home I had asked my husband, Jimmy if he had done a couple of things around the home that needed to be done. He shared he did the dishes and took care of some ice we had outside on the walkway. I could feel Jimmy was so proud of all he had accomplished in his day. I was not in a place of feeling grateful for what he had done so I didn’t say anything. I noticed I started to close down and not say anything. It wasn’t long after I was home I went to bed feeling drained.
The next morning when I went into meditation I was shown what had taken place the night before!
I could see so clearly how I was acting out the conditioning I had growing up. I felt awful….and I mean awful. I could hear the words my dad used. He would be upset about something and tell my mom she sat around all day doing nothing. Personally I didn’t like how he talked to my mom that way. It bothered me inside to the point I made sure I always got things done regardless of how I felt.
Now I was seeing my dad in me and that did not feel good at all. Something I didn’t like my dad to do to my mom…I now found I was doing with my husband. It was never my intention to hurt him and yet indirectly by closing down and not talking gave him a message that was not very loving. I cried so hard. My Divine took over in the healing process.
My behavior implied Jimmy did nothing all day which was not a truth at all. For me to not even acknowledge what he did was the part that bothered me the most. Those bothersome thoughts of being ungrateful helped me to look inside myself and receive the gift of the healing around this conditioning.
When Jimmy woke up I immediately talked with him about what I had been shown. My conditioning had played out and he was on the receiving end.
I started to express my gratitude to my husband…sharing how grateful I was when I went into the kitchen that morning and there wasn’t a dirty dish anywhere. I shared how much I appreciated him taking care of the ice outside our home. It was so important to me to set ‘right’ our relationship once again.
From my experience, our conditioning shows up through people, things and situations which cause us to react in some way. When we become aware of what is going on inside of us…in relation to what is taking place outside of us…the healing begins. We start to see our lessons.
I am so grateful for the unfolding of how this conditioning played out for my greatest learning and growing. I am so blessed to have a husband who walks beside me with unconditional love and grace. The timing is always perfect!
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach