non-physical

Cheerleaders in your life!

January 2, 2014 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Let’s talk about the cheerleaders in your life…the ones that cheer you along in your journey!

Allow me to talk about the sport of baseball as an analogy. By the way, any sport, or facet of your life can be used as a substitute in place of baseball. You are a baseball player. It’s your turn to bat the ball and you step up to the plate. There is a cheerleader in the stands…cheering you on. The cheerleader yells, ‘you can do it; hit a homerun.’ The first pitch comes across the plate and you go to hit the ball. You miss and it’s a strike. The cheerleader in the stands yells…’you can do it…hit the ball…you can do it’. The second pitch comes across the plate and you hit a foul ball. The cheerleader starts to say…’don’t worry you can do it…keep focused and go for it’. You have a cheerleader who cheers you on to do the best you can do….and you eventually hit the ball out into the field leaving you on third base. That whole game goes great like that…you feel pretty good about your performance….your team wins.

Later that week you head to the ball diamond again…and it’s your turn up to bat. The first pitch comes across that plate and you go to swing and decide at the last minute not to swing…and the ump calls the pitch a strike. In the stands you have a cheerleader. The cheerleader for that game is different. The cheerleader yells….’come on…hit the ball…you can do it’. The second pitch comes across the plate and you swing at the ball and miss. The cheerleader is getting a little loud and says…’come on…don’t miss the ball…hit the ball…watch the ball closer.’ The next pitch comes and the next pitch comes and all the way through the game you hear the cheerleader telling you things like….’you need to loosen up…you’re pretty tense and tight…what’s going on, you need to watch the ball closer….your letting the team down by missing.’ Lots of cheerleading happening. Seems with every pitch or every miss or every strike…that cheerleader has something to say about how you could be doing it better or you need to do something different….whatever it is in the moment. There is a cheerleader who is all over you with every move you whether good or bad. The whole game seems to go like that…you aren’t feeling so confident about how you played…the team still wins that night.

In each of these two examples…you were the ball player…and there was a cheerleader in the stands. You showed up to play ball and someone or something was there to cheer you on. Now let’s take that analogy and apply it to your everyday life.

Do you have cheerleaders like that in your life? How do you handle the different physical people that cheer you on? How do you handle the mind and your Self when the mind and the Self talk to you in ways that don’t feel so good?

We may have people in our lives who encourage us to move forward using supportive words which ring as an ‘untruth’ for us…we may have people in our lives who encourage us to move forward using words which ring as ‘truth’ for us…and then we may have people in our lives who encourage us to just ‘be’ with whatever we are feeling in the moment. However those people show up….whether through the physical person or through the mind/the self…they are there for a reason. Those voices help us to unlearn, learn and grow as we journey along in life doing what we so perfectly do…live our life. There is no judgment…there is no good or bad…no right or wrong…it just is. An opportunity of awareness….

As you go about your day to day…start to notice the different cheerleaders in your life. The different voices that show up. Do the words that come through feel like truth for you? When I say that…pay attention to words people say about what they say about the situation you are in…or what they say you may be feeling…or what they say ‘could be’ the problem. Does it sound like a truth for you?

If I could give you an example of what that may look like…let’s say you have a stomach ache. It’s about noon time and you haven’t eaten yet all day. You’ve been really bothered about your son having to go to court on a charge that you know he didn’t do. You’ve been bothered so much that it’s causing your tummy to feel upset. Someone comes along and tells you your stomach ache is because you haven’t eaten yet today and that you need to eat breakfast because it’s the most important meal of the day and you need to make sure it’s healthy…and on they go. Does that sound like a truth to you? Maybe, maybe not.

With the cheerleaders, you will come to know what your truths are in life. If I may also add here…your truths will change in life. That your truths will change in life…I know for fact that is a truth. Life’s experiences have taught me that…..

Sheila

Work from there!

August 1, 2013 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Have you ever heard yourself say you weren’t going to say or do something ever again? Maybe you weren’t going to swear again and out of your mouth comes a swear word. Maybe you are trying not to worry about money these days and catch yourself fretting over money. Maybe you weren’t going to get mad at your partner when they didn’t do what you wanted them to do and all of a sudden you are mad. What do you do in those moments of realizing what just happened?

Allow me to share my story with you. The other day I made a few main dishes for supper. My husband Jimmy was working late and I wanted to have a couple of choices for him to choose from. When he got home I told him he could choose what he wanted to eat. He chose to have some of both main dishes. I said no, he could only have one or the other and he had to choose. As soon as I said ‘you choose’ for the second time, I instantly realized I was not okay with his choice. I also realized I had expectations of him only picking one or the other leaving us with leftovers for the next night. Here I was saying you choose and then I didn’t let him choose. In that moment of awareness, all I could do was laugh at myself. My reaction of not being okay with his choice was right there in front of me to see. Immediately I shared my learning with Jimmy and he enjoyed some of both main dishes for supper.

When I told Jimmy he couldn’t have what he wanted I couldn’t ‘take those words back,’ so to speak. All I could do was ‘work from there’. All I could do was work from that moment of becoming aware and that is the moment the healing inside begins.

Where is ‘there’? ‘There’ can be a moment of time presenting a window of opportunity to heal something inside you. In any moment of reaction there can be a potential ‘there’ which presents the opportunity to heal whatever is bothering you. For example, if you realized you just said something mean to your partner, once the words are out, you are ‘there’ in a moment of awareness. Can you start in that moment of awareness…and work from there?

Everyday life happens. If there are any reactions, these reactions surface reflecting unresolved feelings or incomplete experiences. What’s important is feeling whatever comes up, when it comes up and allowing the energy to move those feelings through. Once you connect to those feelings, they are already on their way to being resolved. This takes very little effort on your part.

Since coming back from India, I have experienced many times when I’ve had trouble finding words for what I’m feeling. In those moments of not having the words, I start to feel what is ‘there.’ It has been such a blessing to feel the feelings become still and then clear and be gone.

For you, there may be times where you don’t get any words, only sensations in your body. That is a perfect opportunity to just feel what is there and healing takes place…with very little effort.

As the globe is awakening, the energy around us now supports everyone moving through their charges very quickly. We are being called to work in the now.

You don’t have to believe me. Play with the concept of working from the moment of the reaction, feel the bother without knowing what ‘it’ is and be still in the clearing. Blessings to you always.

Sheila Unique

How do you know?

January 29, 2013 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

What are we growing towards? Consider this…we are continually growing and we are either growing towards being in a state of non-reaction/peace or towards being in a state of conflict. How do we know?

When we are bothered about something, there is conflict…it really is that simple. When we recognize there is conflict, how do we find our way to being at peace with it? People may say they don’t feel they’re bothered about anything and yet they are going in for surgery next month….or work is suggesting they go for mediation around something…or their spouse is talking about hating their job and they find it hard to listen to the same stuff every day. Those are examples of people feeling conflict coming from the body mind or spirit.

This past week, Sharon and I facilitated a telecall series on depression. I had invited my daughter to submit some things that she felt were maybe causing her to feel depressed. She thought about it and didn’t feel she had any issues so she didn’t submit any.

The very next day after the telecall series was ended…she called me. She so wonderfully asked me to help her with her kids. One of them was sick again and she just didn’t know what to do with the kids anymore. She asked why wouldn’t this sickness stuff stop already? The whole winter the kids had been sick in some way where they ended up at the doctors for something. As she talked I could just feel how depressed she was in what she was saying. I asked her if it bothers her to have her kids sick again. Of course it did! I shared with her how there was such a depressed feeling there. Once we started talking, it was like a revelation for her and she could feel it. My daughter was in a place where she didn’t ‘think’ she had any issues and got to a place where her kids were sick again causing her to ‘feel’ hopeless and depressed.

I had talked further to my daughter about what she felt depression was. She had shared how she couldn’t understand how people could sit in their depression and not do anything about it. I’m not going to share the whole conversation but we did clear around an element of control that she was working with. One of the things about depression or anything anyone around us is feeling….we can’t change anyone around us but we sure can shift what we feel inside.

I know for myself, I had felt I still had a depression type feeling around money. I didn’t feel I could create money. That feeling and more had shifted through the telecall series. I have been walking through some of my money issues with this India campaign going on right now. Yes there is conflict and the only way I know how to feel at peace inside is to take the ‘not so great’ feelings and clear whatever is causing them…leaving me in a place of feeling at peace with whatever happens.

Our day to day living brings us life stuff. When we do anything and feel conflict we can grow towards feeling at peace around whatever is causing us to feel the conflict. Those causes come from within us and that is where they will be resolved. Energy clearing is definitely one of those ways to clear conflict.

You don’t need to know all the questions to ask….or even all the answers. That’s where Sharon and I come in. One of the most important roles for you is to become more and more aware of what you are feeling. Once you feel something…it’s on its way to being healed.

We are always rewarded for our inner work.

Sheila Unique

Depression in a new light, Part 2!

December 22, 2012 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

In part 2 of ‘depression in a new light’, I will talk more about the state of depression…giving you a different ‘light’ on day to day life stuff that can cause someone to feel depressed.

What is the state of depression all about? Some of the dictionary definitions of depression are…a depressed or sunken place or part; a hollow; a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason; a mood disorder; the action of lowering something or pressing something down; severe, typically prolonged, feelings of despondency and dejection; self doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression. One internet site says depression is a complicated mental illness that can take the joy out of once pleasurable things and has a dramatic affect on a person’s life.

When we look at the explanation of depression…it may be safe to say we have felt depressed somewhere in our life.

Like any illness or disease, people just don’t become depressed over night! The feelings causing someone to feel depressed have been there for a while.

There was an amazing post on facebook the other day, ‘Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of having to stand strong for too long.’ How many people in your life have ‘fought’ the battle too long? You may be one of them. People stand so strong – energetically – holding things together – being the strong one….and one day their world falls apart. Where is the strength or the strong in them at that time?

Medically they say depression has to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain. That is a ‘physical’ explanation. We aren’t just physical beings. We have a body mind and a spirit – you can’t function one without the other. They all work together. The non-physical part of you is your mind and your spirit which play a huge part in what causes depression. Your mind has to do with thoughts and emotions; your spirit has to do with being at rest or unrest! What you are feeling can’t be seen ‘physically’. You can’t look at your arm and say, ‘oh there is my depression, I’ll just take it off my arm and I’m done with it.’

I’m always talking about how our bodies are messengers for us – giving us messages. When it comes to depression, the imbalance in the brain, what message is the brain giving the person with depression?

When did the depression start? What was going on in that person’s life at the time? Let’s look at the different aspects of our day to day life to see where an imbalance can show up.

A person is in a long term marriage or relationship. All of a sudden the partner leaves unexpectedly! Would that cause an imbalance in the family dynamics taking the joy out of life?

A person has been dedicated to their job for so long, putting in many hours, leading many teams and all of a sudden they are asked to move on or leave the company. Would that cause an imbalance where a person would or wouldn’t fit into life now?

People can have imbalances in their finances – lose a house or an investment; imbalance in their relationships – the feelings in their ‘heart’ so to speak; imbalance within themselves – everyone is out to get them or everything falls back on them. People can have a physical body trauma happen causing an emotional breakdown – for example, breaking a leg and not being able to teach dancing or not getting to exercise for a long period of time. Would that cause an imbalance? Any one of these everyday life mishaps can cause someone to become depressed. Why is it some people do into deep depression and some people don’t? How is the imbalance serving them?

People move through all kinds of challenges in their life…someone who is depressed is ‘moving through the expression of depression as part of their journey. In the movement, they will experience ‘healing’ within.

The imbalance may be physically represented in the brain…but the imbalance stems from the imbalance in the MIND! The mind is very powerful and will put someone at unrest in no time. There are a number of elements that come into play when it comes to working with a depressed person. A shift in perception is one of them.

Depressed people don’t get up in the morning and think about how they can be depressed all day. They are ‘moving through’ whatever this depression is bringing them to deal with. The depression can bring them isolation…can challenge them on all their belief systems…can close the door on some relationships and open the door on other relationships. Depression, like other sicknesses, illnesses or pains of some kind can also be used to manipulate others to get what they want. All of these are examples of the kind of healing that can take place inside of someone. They are experiencing life through the emotional state of depression.

Sometimes people have to hit ‘rock bottom’ in the moving forward process. Put another way, they have to let go of the fight and the battle that they have been fighting for so long! One example of this could be the fight and battle around keeping ‘up their appearances.’ When someone finally can’t keep up the appearance of always being the strong one…it could be pretty hard to let that appearance go. For so long, their feelings could have been buried deep down inside…do we really know what they are feeling?

Now go back to the role we play in a depressed person’s life…ask them ‘how they feel’ about whatever they are saying. When they answer, don’t have any judgement at all. Their feelings are about them and how they feel NOT ABOUT YOU. Even if they say it’s because of you, don’t ‘buy into it.’ Keep moving the conversation forward asking them questions about what makes them feel the way they feel. Again, this is about them and how they feel. They will tend to blame everything around them at first…and that is very normal. That will be their perception of the reality of what they feel has taken place in their life. There are many influences causing people to feel what they feel. Eventually it will be inside where they find their answers. That is where the movement with questions can help them to ‘heal through their depression’ and see life in a new light!

Sheila Unique

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