| As we head into 2017, I invite you to do some soul searching. I invite you to question in your own heart information you have come to ‘know’ about things like your health, relationships and even finances. What prompted this?
So many of my clients have been stepping forward talking about different medical tests they have had and the results that surprised them. For example, last week one lady went through a procedure where they scoped her stomach. The procedure took only a few minutes and the most amazing thing about it was she got pictures of her esophagus, stomach and duodenum. These parts looked healthy and strong. The doctor was pleased. When the lady was sharing her pictures she made the comment about how pink and healthy everything looked, even though she smokes. Another client was talking about all the ongoing issues she’s had with her gallbladder. Her last gallbladder attack put her in the hospital where she thought for sure she would be having her gallbladder removed. To her surprise, the medical team told her she only had an infection and because the gallbladder wasn’t swollen at all they weren’t going to remove it! Another client has what could be explained as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Whenever he is stressed and worried about something, he has so many bowels movements. As soon as he eats he’s in the washroom a numbers of times in a day. That’s whenever he eats. This gentleman went for colonoscopy. To his surprise the inside of his bowels were a bright pink! He was told there was nothing wrong with his bowels. All of these people thought something was really wrong with their body parts. Back and forth to the doctors they would go. Could you imagine what must have been going through their minds to learn there wasn’t anything wrong with their physical parts? Are you in a place where you know something is ‘wrong’ about your physical body, people or situations in your life? Maybe you know something is wrong with your stomach. Maybe you know that person is wrong for your son/daughter. Maybe you know your aging parents are in the wrong place. Are they really wrong? I invite you to consider this. What you perceive is painful may not be what you have come to ‘know’ it is. You may think pain is physical indicating something is really wrong….is it? There are so many times I work with people who come to a session with pain in their physical body. When they leave that pain is gone! Pain is not only physical! Pain is preceded by a thought…and that thought involves mental and emotional pain which can manifest in the physical body as pain. Given the right tools, any pain can be brought to a state of calm and healing. Are things as bad as you think they are? This year I invite you to really question what you think you ‘know’ about something. I’m talking in all areas of your life. Where you think something isn’t right or not good for you and even the others in your life…I invite you to step back and re-visit your perceptions. Like others in my life, you may be pleasantly surprised to find what you came to know as being true isn’t true at all. Life becomes a little more interesting every new day. May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside. Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker |
The Problem?
Play with this thought…when we talk about problems are we aware of what the real problem is?
Recently my husband Jimmy shared this story with me. For a few months now, in the morning on the way to work he asked his Divine to take care of his mom and help take her pain away. Just when the pain was getting better, his mom would hurt herself again. This bothered him. No matter what he did to help her with her pain, it didn’t go away. When we talked about it, I encouraged him to consider looking at the problem underneath the pain.
He started to observe his mom was fine when people were around. As soon as she was alone she would have all kinds of pains. Then one day my husband said to me. ‘On my way to work today, I asked my Divine to bring my mom some friends to keep her company. Today her friend came over and spent the whole afternoon with her. Her friend is going to come over every afternoon to keep her company now.’
I could feel a sense of relief in my husband. His mom wasn’t as bothered about the pain on the days her friend was around. With his mom, what was the pain all about? Was the pain the problem…or was feeling alone the problem?
Do you have problems you have tried to resolve and no matter what you do the problem is still there? Have you considered looking a little deeper to see if there is an underlying issue?
Consider this…it is by our nature that we ‘label’ things as the problem. We might say for example, ‘it’s because he talks to much.’ or ‘it’s because she isn’t part of the family.’ We might also say, ‘of course my knee hurts I just finished running.’ or ‘my stomach aches now that I ate so late in the day (happening at a time when you can’t digest another thought that day.’ We are quick to label why things are happening as they are. What may be causing the problem at the time the problem is showing up?
I invite you over the next while to become aware of what you feel may be the problem. Play with the idea of challenging your first ‘thought’ on what the problem is.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
I wish you so much inner peace and joy.
Sheila Unique, Certified Relationship Coach
Purpose in Life Changes
Do you ever wonder why you experience challenges went you make changes in your life?
Recently I became very aware of the purpose that existed in something I was growing through. I share that experience and tie the learning into everyday life changes. I felt you may benefit from seeing how those moments where we feel so challenged could actually be preparing us for something even greater than we know. You are invited to journey along with me.
Monday I entered the Toastmaster’s Humorous Speech Contest. This contest had to do with speaking, humor, timing and how they all come together. Little did I know what was ahead! As it is with any growing opportunity for me…my physical body was guiding me along the way.
Preparing for the contest involved more than just knowing the words…or so I learned. I set out every day to practice my speech. As I practiced I started to be very aware of the different pain type sensations in my physical body. I experienced days where my face would feel uncomfortably tense…mostly in the area of my cheeks and mouth. There were days where my hips were unbearably sore; a day where I had a pounding headache; days where the sensations in my back were quite extreme. Part way through the week I thought to myself I should just back out of the contest!!!
In no time I noticed how the pain type sensations I felt related to specific challenges around speaking! To feel the pain where I felt the pain…at the same time I was aware of the challenges around my speaking presence…was like connecting the dots. I moved through aspects of rushing while speaking; cleared through staying present when I got excited; cleared through incongruence around the humor and being serious. Those were just some of the challenges that surfaced helping me resolve issues I had with speaking.
I participated in the contest and was greatly rewarded! I could feel how I was present the whole speech and never missed a word I intended to share. People laughed and giggled as I spoke. Moving through my reactions or the things that bothered me brought me to a beautiful peaceful place in my speaking. Today I can now see how I’m more focused in conversations and my breathing is much easier as well. I’m even standing straighter! Who knew my posture would change…what a bonus! I didn’t win the contest and I’m so proud of me for all I learned along the way.
As I look back, I’m reminded my passion in life is to speak and facilitate group learning for companies around emotional intelligence…more specifically how to deal with everyday life challenges. All I experienced through this past week helped me to align with my passion. This was an unexpected gift in the end.
I share that story to give you some idea of how the learning and growing plays out in our day to day lives. When you embark on a change of some kind, you may go through a stage where your fears come up. You may question your decisions and may even give up on yourself along the way. Any reactions will be expressed in relationship to the growing involved! Reactions are normal and can surface as pain type sensations…as mental struggles…as unrest in your heart.
Here is an example. Let’s say you were asked to lead a major project for the first time. You may be used to working with one or two people…and now you are leading a group of many people. You may experience huge growing around things like ‘not being able to control anyone’ or recognizing that you can only go as fast as the people you work with or communication type things around listening and speaking. To lead a team as opposed to working alone with one or two people does require different people skills. The processes you go through in leading the team will move you into a more empowered place as a leader. This whole experience ‘prepares’ you for something else in your future. Play with what that could be for you.
Here are some more examples of life changes which involve growing opportunities…
- getting married…going through a divorce…taking your dating to new level;
- becoming a parent;
- applying for a promotion or a totally new job…retiring;
- serious health issue;
- loss of loved ones…or even loss of co-workers.
Regardless of where you are on your journey, life changes whether they are by your choice or not, cause you to learn and grow. Whatever you learn along the way benefits ever relationship around you. This is one example of what it is to live with purpose. The unexpected gifts always show up.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach
4 Benefits to using Pictures and Analogies
Sometimes when we are moving through challenges…it helps us to have a picture or an analogy to work with! Allow me to give you this example:
One of my daughters asked for my help to move through a challenging time…what she called a ‘repetitive strain.’ To me, repetitive strain could be anything…our physical bodies can have repetitive strains…our minds could have repetitive thoughts causing us strain. When I asked her what repetitive strain meant to her, she shared how she was bothered about a current relationship in her life and felt it was a repetitive issue stemming back to another relationship from her past.
When I connected with what my daughter was sharing, immediately I saw the picture of those old vinyl records; when I was growing up we used those vinyl records to listen to music. Do you remember them? I could see my daughter speaking about these ‘repetitive’ challenges…and used the analogy of the vinyl record to guide her through what she called a repetitive strain.
If you remember those records, music played on stereos using a type of needle that moved along a grove from the outside to the inside of the vinyl record. Those records could be played again and again…and at times the needle could get stuck in one spot repeating the same thing over and over. It feels funny to explain this today…our times have changed so much.
For my daughter, it felt like I needed to use the words, ‘where do you feel the needle is getting stuck on the record?’ My daughter replied, ‘the chorus of the song.’ Wow! As we may all know, a chorus has the same words and is repeated throughout the song. What were the words to the chorus of the song my daughter was repeating over and over in her head? Whenever she thought of those relationships now…she knew to focus on the words in the chorus of her mind. Her answers became clear.
There are two wonderful points to highlight when it comes to repetitive challenges:
- Any challenge that is repeated over and over in our life is offering us another opportunity to resolve that challenge;
- Can we trace our current challenge back through other relationships? In other words…some of our challenges today are the same challenges we’ve had in past relationships. Doing a bit of inner review gives us some guidance as to what the challenge really is about. Was there anything in common?
It has been my experience whenever I am guided to use analogies…as well as pictures they work great for people to move through challenges. What may that look like?
When explaining things to people, we tend to use verbal expressions to give people a picture of what we’re feeling. One of the most common ways of explaining things would be to use the words, ‘it’s like’ or ‘it feels like.’ Here are two examples to guide you through:
- A person may say, ‘I have a sore shoulder and it feels like my arm isn’t even attached.’ What picture would that give them? The expression may give them a picture where their arm isn’t in its socket. The arm feeling like it’s not attached may lead them back to a time in their life when they were ‘reaching out’ to ask for help and not getting it. In this example, the underlying challenge with soreness in the shoulder today leads them back to a time in their life when they weren’t feeling good about asking for help. Pictures can help them to feel their way through resolving the pain in their shoulder. Recognizing that…the soreness in the shoulder will lessen, if not, disappear totally and they will resolve something around reaching out to ask for help.
- A person may say, ‘I have a sore stomach. It’s like someone punched me in the guts.’ A picture shows up in their mind’s eye and they may not have been punched. It’s like detective work now…they start looking for clues to work with that picture thinking about a time when they remembered something about being punched or punching. Those clues may lead them to a time in their life when they were verbally beaten down causing them to be sick to their stomach. The sore stomach today may actually involve feelings from a past relationship…repeating itself through a current relationship. Being aware of what the two relationships have in common…causing the stomach to be sore will lead this person to healing something deep within themselves!
We express what we are feeling…and then give people a picture they can relate to using the words ‘it’s like….’ Somehow there are elements in the pictures most people can relate to which help us to navigate through whatever is bothering us. Resolution will be the result.
Here are 4 benefits of using pictures or analogies:
- they are something we can relate to when it comes to looking at a challenge in a different way;
- they take the focus off what we currently perceive as the problem (for example, a person, thing or situation causing the problem)…and put the focus onto our underlying thoughts and emotions (for example, recognizing our feelings of anger may have something to do with not wanting to be told what to do);
- they move the challenge from outside of us to inside where we may feel more guided and in control;
- they can help us repair relationships in that we may tend to takes things less personally helping us to move through any resistance in resolving the challenge.
Now-a-days I personally feel we have amazing tools which are more acceptable to work with when it comes to resolving challenges. It’s a sign of the changing times. I invite you to start to notice if you use pictures and analogies when working with the insights that come to you every day.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Coach/Intuitive