perception

Have the Spiritual Courage to look at things that cause you unrest and you will be rewarded with Inner Peace!

August 2, 2018 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Family members tend to do things which can upset you. Looking at that upset can bring so much joy into your life.

This past week I had the spiritual courage to look at the unrest I was feeling inside. I looked deeper into a part of me I wasn’t prepared for. That courage rewarded me with a calm and peaceful feeling inside.

I thought my real life experience may inspire you to have the spiritual courage to look at any unrest you may be experiencing right now.

Let me start out by sharing what I mean by spiritual courage. Spirit has to do with you as a human being or a soul. You can’t physically see your spirit. Courage is the ability to move through something that frightens you.

It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about your Self. It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about the different life experiences which cause you to feel unrest inside. Living everyday with spiritual courage rewards you with empowerment and self awareness beyond measure.

Now onto the real life experience…..

Every Saturday my mom invites us to play TV bingo with her. Have you ever played bingo? Well, I’ve played bingo a number of times in my life. After playing with my mom for a few months I eventually stopped. Playing bingo with my mom wasn’t something I enjoyed.

My mom plays bingo a lot. There is always conversation about her not winning. Even if she wins money playing bingo she continually talks about how she never wins. This past weekend again she talked about not winning. For some reason I got upset about what she said. I noticed I felt agitated when she spoke. Feeling upset and agitated are reactions. Once those reactions surfaced I knew there was ‘unrest’ inside of me.

I started to really pay attention to that unrest. The next day I saw what the unrest was about! The unrest I was experiencing had to do with feeling powerless! Where did the word powerless come from?

I knew when mom was talking something she said caused me to react. So I started to look at what she said. I noticed mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. For example, she continually reinforces how the bingo caller doesn’t call the number she needs to get a bingo. She says the other people in the bingo hall are luckier and win more than she does. She has many reasons why she can’t win which are all pointed at what others are or aren’t doing.

The word ‘powerless’ really stood out for me. I didn’t feel so energetic when I thought about being powerless. I kept asking myself, ‘what bothered me about noticing mom was powerless to make changes?’ In no time I became aware of a pattern with my mom. How she talks about not winning at bingo is how she also talks about not being able to lose weight.

When it comes to losing weight my mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. The first 30 plus years of my life, mom went to some kind of weight loss club. She was always on a diet of some kind. She lost some weight. Then a week or two later she put the weight back on. This cycle continued year after year. As far back as I can remember she would justify her weight gains having to do with what others did or didn’t do. Dieting and weight loss has always been an issue in our family. It was interesting now to be aware of this pattern.

What was my mom showing me…about me? What was I learning about myself? Through everything I was shown how does that help me to resolve my unrest?

Asking myself these questions helped me to find my answers. The same approach would work for you. Asking yourself empowering questions like these helps you go inside yourself in times when you are experiencing unrest. Inside of you is where you find your answers.

For my answers I started looking in both my personal and professional life!

Personally, I am dealing with maple bugs outside our home. Talk about feeling powerless. More and more every day I see these bugs multiplying in numbers. They are crawling everywhere. Somehow these bugs are making their way into our home. If you are familiar with maple bugs, they leave spots all over the place. No matter what I do to keep the number of bugs down or even keep them out of the house hasn’t been working. It’s like I can’t win. It leaves me feeling powerless to change this situation with the bugs.

Professionally, I’m almost done writing my second book. Publishing this book is happening at a time when I’m also re-positioning my business. Moving through these changes has left me feeling powerless some days. More and more I’m being guided to give the controls over to my Divine.

Until I had that conversation with my mom I wasn’t even aware there was unrest inside of me. I certainly had no idea that unrest had to do with feeling powerless. I also wasn’t expecting to look at the issue of not winning or the pattern of not losing weight.

This is important to hear. Until your reactions surface, you may have no idea you were even upset. Your reactions help you pay attention to whatever caused you to react. Only when you become aware of your reactions, can you do something to resolve them. That is self awareness.

Spiritual courage always rewards you for doing your inner work.

Through the experiences with my mom I am excited to say I have greater self awareness when it comes to:

Powerless versus Empowered;
Can’t win versus Winning.

It is in the self awareness where the healing takes place inside. When you have the spiritual courage to look at areas of unrest inside of you, your life transforms in more ways than you could ever know.

For me I’ve now noticed a huge change within myself. One of the immediate changes I experienced had to do with feeling more compassionate and understanding with my mom. Even my thoughts have changed. Now when I think of the word powerless that word doesn’t cause me to feel tired. I actually feel energetically empowered.

Growing up I remember wondering why my mom doesn’t just change her behaviors and get on with life. I judged her and others for not being able to change. Now I’m aware of that judgment. With that awareness I am more conscious of passing judgment around what it takes to change. It can be easy to think and talk about things. It’s not so easy to actually take action.

Everything that happens in your life is for your own learning and growing. What you speak about regarding your experiences doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. Your experiences and your truth only have to make sense to you.

Let me end by saying….having a glimpse at my past helped me to resolve the unrest I recently felt. Resolving my unrest is about me and has nothing to do with how my mom did or didn’t do anything in her life. My mom is living her life perfectly according to her plan.

I perceived my mom living from a position of feeling powerless. Those are my words. My words actually helped me to find my own truth.

Some days learning and growing takes a lot of spiritual courage. Every experience you heal through leaves you to feel a calm and peaceful feeling inside. That inner peace spreads out into all my relationships.

Stories like this one will be in my new book!

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Self Empowerment Expert!

Assumptions Lead You Mentally Down the Wrong Path!

December 29, 2017 By Sheila Unique 1 Comment

Christmas may be a time of year where you make assumptions more than any other time. Assumptions like thinking if you don’t get a gift for that person they will be mad or if you don’t spend a certain amount of money you look cheap. Assumptions can lead you down an interesting path!

Last Saturday at the end of my walk on the treadmill the phone rang. The call display showed ‘anonymous’ caller. I assumed the call was from my mother-in-law. Her name was top of my mind because she calls quite often and her number shows up as anonymous. I also assumed my husband was heading over to her place so I clicked off the call. The same caller called right back. This time I let the call go to voicemail. In no time I was done on the treadmill.

I noticed the more I thought about my mother-in-law calling the more upset I was getting. I was aware I was reacting for some reason. Within 10 minutes of the calls my husband came home. He noticed I was upset and asked what was going on. I asked him why his mother would be calling. He thought that was weird that she would call because he was just at her place. I went and had my shower while he called her back.

While in the shower I realized those calls may not have come from my mother-in-law! There are 3 people in our family circle who have private phone numbers. When they call our home their numbers shows up as ‘anonymous.’ I could feel I had made a huge mistake. After my shower I immediately went to my husband. I apologized and told him I made a mistake. He said he had talked with his mother and knew it wasn’t her. We still didn’t know who called because they didn’t leave a voicemail.

What causes a person to react? You go about your day and something happens causing you to get upset. How do you handle that? Let’s say you experience things like this:

You send a text to your spouse or child and it takes them hours to reply;
You ask someone if they could help right now and they don’t show up for hours;
Someone says they will get back to you with an answer and after weeks you have no reply;
You assume things about family gift exchanges or whose going to cook what for Christmas dinner and it doesn’t happen;
A close friend says they won’t see a person you don’t like anymore and in no time you see them with that person.

These are real life examples. When you find you are upset over scenarios like these it can be pretty hard to keep your thoughts from assuming things! What matters is being aware when you are reacting!

It has been my observation reactions can surface quickly and unexpectedly. You can’t change reactions once they surface. What you can do is pay attention to what’s going on around you when you are reacting.

When paying attention consider these few points:

What you initially think is your problem will not be your problem.
Go forward working with what happened! You can’t undo what has been done! That means you can’t take back your reaction, you can’t change the setting so what happened doesn’t happen like that again. So many people try to correct or fix what happened. That is like re-winding your life which isn’t possible.
Observe your reactions with the intention of resolving the unrest inside of you. It was inside of you where the upset surfaced. It is inside of you where healing takes place. For example, let’s say you experienced getting upset over something your child did. You handled the situation as best you could. After a while you notice you’re still upset about something. What is that upset inside of you?
Ask yourself empowering questions! These would be questions that lead you to answers about yourself. The brain likes to keep busy. Get the brain to look for your own answers. For example, an empowering question could be what really upsets you about that?
Notice what’s running through your mind. What is that little voice inside your head saying? What are you feeling emotionally? Any aches or pains indicate where the upset is energetically settling in your physical body. The combination of your thoughts and your emotions impact your physical body.
The more you pay attention to what’s going on inside and outside of you the more you will find your way to resolving any unrest inside.

What caused me to get upset over one phone call? What I thought was the problem was not the problem! My immediate thought…or my assumption of my mother-in-law calling did influence the direction of my thoughts. Where I went with my thoughts was the problem. This is important to hear. When something happens causing you to react in some way where you go with your thoughts is what leads you to the unrest inside of yourself.

Self awareness rewards you greatly. Shortly after the incident I experienced I learned the ‘anonymous’ caller was our 6 year old grandson. He was calling to see if we could play with them. He didn’t leave a message on the phone because his mom hadn’t taught him that yet.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship and Self Empowerment Expert!

Perception Makes a Difference!

November 27, 2017 By Sheila Unique 2 Comments

So many times life gives you messages to help you learn and grow. It’s not always obvious what those messages are about. I’d like to share an example of a problem I experienced and how that problem gave me wonderful messages.

For the last two weeks my computer had been doing weird things. When working with emails, I clicked on the reply key. Instead of moving the message onto the screen to reply, it booted the message down into the draft stage. When I deleted one message, it deleted 3 or 4 of them. When performing the copy and paste feature the computer couldn’t do it. All of this got to be very aggravating.

Someone had mentioned the battery for the mouse may need to be changed. I did that and my attempt to fix the problem didn’t work.

The computer went in to be serviced. They found the problem. The clicker in the mouse was worn out. After how many years of using that same mouse I now needed a new one.

Something I thought was the problem was not the problem at all. Something I thought was going to cost me a lot of money to fix turned out to cost me less than $80. This whole experience blessed me with a gift.

How can you take a problem and turn it into a gift? When you have problems, those problems are opportunities for you to learn and grow. This doesn’t mean you have to like your problems. Not at all! As a matter of fact, you won’t initially see problems as opportunities because of the thoughts and emotions which accompany the problems.

In the problem stage, thoughts and emotions express themselves as reactions. Reactions cloud the mind and distort your perception. The most beautiful thing about reactions is this. Reactions show you there is unrest inside. Until you react you may have no idea of the unrest. Those reactions are not meant to be used to beat your self up. They surface as guidance for you to learn and grow.

You have the power to work with your reactions. The moment reactions surface pay attention to what’s going on inside and outside of you. Having that awareness leads you to find a resolution. You will know you have resolved your problem when you experience a shift in your perception. That shift takes something perceived as a problem and turns it into a gift.

Let’s go back to the example of my experience and I can explain further.

After being aware my computer wasn’t working properly, I did what I could to resolve the problem. The problem wasn’t resolved causing me to feel aggravated. I noticed my aggravation mostly had to do with disempowerment which clouded my perception. When I took action and had the problem looked at by a computer expert the real source of the problem was identified and resolved.

Throughout that process I experienced quite a shift inside myself. Within days after getting the computer home I could see how the Universe blessed me with a gift!

The computer and the mouse had wonderful messages for sharing.

Firstly, is the problem really the problem? Focusing on the computer didn’t help me consider how the mouse was influencing this problem! Think about your life. How many times do you focus on what you perceive is the problem and it isn’t the problem?

Secondly, the mouse represents thoughts and the computer represents the physical body. The thoughts ‘control’ the input and direction of the physical body. The physical body is impacted by your input…in whatever form you use. Again think of your life. How many times do your thoughts mislead you around what the problem really is about?

Here are some examples…..

You have back pain. You look to your back as the problem;
Your hips burn. You think your hips are giving out due to your age;
You can’t lose weight. You look for another diet to try;
Your parents make you mad. You look to your parents to change;
You’re depressed. You think the medication isn’t working;

Those are just a few examples of how you can get caught up in what you think or perceive is the problem. It happens very innocently! Yet what thoughts and emotions keep the problem going? Have you ever thought about that?

What you are thinking and feeling does impact relationships of all kinds. Thoughts and emotions also impact your physical body and overall health. It is a fact when problems are resolved causing a shift in your thoughts, emotions and your energy the physical body will immediately ‘right’ itself.

I just got back from a 9 day retreat in Hawaii. The experience of the computer and mouse was very timely for me. Timely in that it reminded me to be very conscious of my thoughts and how those thoughts influence the running of my inner ‘computer.’

Everything you experience in life offers you much learning and growing. You learn about what you like and don’t like. You learn about what works and doesn’t work. You learn what you react to and what you are at peace with. Until you have any experience you can’t know what the learning will be for you.

What kinds of problems are you experiencing these days? I invite you to consider the learning and growing element throughout the process. You will see your gifts.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship and Self Empowerment Expert!

What, No Angels Singing Praises?

August 29, 2017 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

You’ve been struggling so hard to accomplish something. The day finally arrives! You accomplished it. What? You don’t hear the Angels sing their praises? You don’t see fireworks in the sky? You’ve been trying so hard to accomplish this so you would feel better. The day it happens you still feel the same. What is actually happening?

Recently a lady was telling me about having so many emails in your inbox at work. Hundreds and hundreds of unread emails waited for her. It didn’t matter how hard she tried the emails kept coming. Over time she thought it would be so wonderful to have no emails in her inbox. She thought it would be so wonderful to be able to have zero emails for a change. Having zero emails….wow that would make her feel so great.

The day arrived. She finally got to zero emails in her inbox! The interesting thing is she told me there wasn’t the excitement she thought she would have. She jokingly said the Angels didn’t sing and the trumpets didn’t roar like she thought they would. How interesting.

Another person I know shared they won quite a bit of money on the lottery. They talked about the fact that their problems didn’t go away. As a matter of fact relationship issues surfaced again.

The perceived solution to the problem doesn’t always give you what you think it will. The reason that doesn’t happen is because the unrest a person feels on the inside can’t be ‘fixed’ by something on the outside.

Using the example above, if you have so many emails to the point it starts to bother you, the bother is showing you have unrest inside? What does that bring up for you? Every day you look at all the unread emails what does that show you about yourself?

You see when you resolve the unrest which surfaces inside you will be in the most empowered place to handle all your emails regardless if they have been read or not. You won’t have to wait to get to zero emails to experience a great accomplishment. You will naturally experience inner ‘rest’ at the point of resolution.

Using the lottery winner, if the winner had unresolved issues with a past relationship those issues can surface again. If the other person in that relationship was mean, selfish and hard to deal with, once they find out about the money the same mean selfish and hard to deal with person shows up again. Those issues surface giving the winner another opportunity to heal whatever is inside.

Accomplishing things is part of a natural progression in life. There is a beginning, middle and end. Accomplishing is a part of moving forward. Will the Angels sing their praises? Will the trumpets sound? Maybe! Those praises and sounds may just show up when you resolve the unrest inside.

….and let me add, many times you accomplish things that have been really challenging because you have resolved the learning and growing from the experience.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Expert, Master Problem Solver!

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