present moment

Existing Without the Mind?

October 1, 2019 By Sheila Unique

Have you ever thought about that, a life without your mind? Many people want to control their mind or wish their mind would just stop. You cannot exist in this world without a mind!

If you need your mind to exist, then how can you change the relationship you have with your mind? What purpose does the mind serve? Have you ever stopped to notice the random thoughts which surface in your day to day life?

Not long ago, I was making an effort to stay present and aware in my day. Half way through the day, I noticed as I was in the middle of doing one thing, I was already thinking about what I could do next. I wasn’t present to finish what I was currently doing. The mind was busy taking me off in all different directions. Only when I became aware of what I was thinking about, could I make a change.

The majority of thoughts which run through your mind relate to things you’ve already done or things you intend to do.

Let’s say you are thinking about the upcoming meeting with the boss. The boss told you they are restructuring parts of your job. When you learn about the restructuring, you start to think about all the work you’ve been doing lately. You’re analyzing your work in relation to other people in the company. Then you think about something that happened over three years ago. There was a big mis-understanding with a customer. The customer ended up talking about you with your boss. It still bothers you a bit to think about that. You get caught up in those thoughts for a while. In no time you have yourself talked into possibly losing your job. You haven’t even had the meeting yet.

As much as thinking is important, your mind will never leave you in a restful place with anything in your life! Your mind continually brings up thoughts which cause you to feel upset inside.

You could be driving home and have random thoughts about something you hated as a child. You get caught up in those thoughts and start to feel resentful. The resentful feeling follows you into the evening.

You could be standing in a grocery store and have random thoughts about a disagreement you had with a family member six months ago. Next thing you know the disagreement is playing over and over in your mind. Now you feel irritated. You get your groceries home and wonder why you are irritated with your spouse.

When you get caught up in thoughts like that, pay attention to what you are thinking about. Thoughts which cause you to feel upset continue to surface until you heal and resolve the upset related to those thoughts. That is the purpose of repeated thoughts.

Let’s say last week you said mean things to one of your parents. It still upsets you to think about your parents. The nature of the mind is to keep you thinking about all the things which upset you. The mind will not guide you to heal and resolve that upset. This is where awareness comes in. What are you actually thinking about? What is the problem and how do you feel about that problem?

Also, when it comes to your mind, you cannot ‘think’ your way to healing and resolving the upset. Healing for you does not happen when you think everything will be better next time you go visit your parents. Resolving your upset does not happen when you think your parents will change.

For you to heal and resolve any kind of upset, you first need to be aware of what you are thinking. This is very important, especially if your thoughts are causing you to feel some kind of upset. The moment you are aware you are upset, notice what you are thinking about. Your thoughts identify your problem and bring up some kind of emotion. Where you go from there literally has to do with what you were thinking about. The next article will go into that.

It is not possible to exist without the mind. The more you become aware of your thoughts and emotions, the greater opportunity you have to do something with the thoughts that continually cause you to get upset.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Expert

What is it to Win?

August 29, 2019 By Sheila Unique

Have you ever played a game with someone and they quit before the game was finished? When someone quits the game, is there a winner?

A couple of weekends ago, my husband and I were at the lake visiting with the family. The grandchildren and I played a ball game. Our granddaughter and I were partners. We played against two of the grandsons. Our team was winning at the point in the game when two of the grandchildren weren’t getting along. One grandchild got upset and quit the game. Well, that was the end of that game.

The next day, I happened to be playing a card game with one of our grandsons. I was winning the game at the point when our grandson decided he didn’t want to play anymore.

Now this was the second day in a row where I experienced someone quitting before we got to the end of the game. I have come to appreciate much learning can come through repeated experiences. The grandchildren quitting was not normal. Because this wasn’t normal, I started to reflect back on those two experiences. What was happening around me? What was happening inside of me?

I started to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings. Repeatedly, I observed I had been winning the game at the time when other players quit. How did I feel when they quit? Was there any unrest inside of me?

When it comes to playing games, if you don’t finish the game, there is no winner. What is left if there is no winner? All that is left is the experience! Can there still be a winner?

Let’s look at experiences. Every day you have experiences of all kinds. Some are pleasant and some experiences create emotional disruption inside.

Pleasant experiences seem to come and go quickly. They come and go quickly without giving much thought to the experience.

It’s the unpleasant experiences which seem to cause most of the emotional disruption inside of you. What actually causes this disruption?

Emotional disruption is caused by your thoughts. Thinking causes you to get emotional. Your thoughts and emotions impact your physical body. Positive or negative thoughts and emotions cause your physical body to respond according.

When you are aware of your thoughts, emotions and physical body, you are in the most empowered place you could be. You are in the most empowered place because you have the awareness of what’s going on inside of you!

In the experiences which are unpleasant for you, what are you observing? What is happening inside, in relation to what is happening outside of you? What are you thinking? What are you feeling? How is your body responding?

Awareness makes you an automatic winner! You hear your thoughts. You feel your emotions. You have an empowering sense of what’s going on in your physical body.

There is a saying, ‘It’s not about winning or losing. It’s how you play the game.’

How you play the game depends on the game which is being played at the time? Life can be a game. Whatever you are given in your life is to be experienced. From that experience you grow to learn more about yourself.

Each game I played with the grandchildren was another experience in my day to day life. Those experiences offered me an opportunity to see myself in action. When I saw myself in action, I was aware of what was going on for me. Regardless if I finished the games with the grandchildren, I could still be a winner. I could still be a winner because I was winning in the game of life.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Expert!

Hardest Thing You Have to Deal With!

October 24, 2018 By Sheila Unique

What comes to your mind when you think of the hardest thing you’ve ever had to deal with? Maybe you think of a difficult relationship breakup. Maybe you think of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Maybe your thoughts take you back to the time when you were writing exams for a university class. Have you ever thought what made that time the hardest thing you’ve ever dealt with?

Everything you ‘walk through’ in life takes one step at a time, one day at a time. Whether you are walking through a financial or a health crisis of some kind, each new day gives you another opportunity to learn and grow.

Every step is filled with experiences. Some of the experiences are pleasant to move through. Some of the experiences are hard to deal with.

This past month, I have been focused on finishing my new book.

I was writing the section on the mental body. The mental body is all about your mind and your thoughts. I got to a place where I was really struggling to stay focused on my writing. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head that day. Thoughts related to ‘other things’ I should be doing in my business, other than finishing my book.

On one of my trips to the washroom, I caught myself thinking how hard it was for me to stay focused on my writing. I thought staying focused on my writing was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with! I continued to think if only I could get through all this writing then things would get easier for me! At this point, I started to pay attention to what those thoughts were really about.

Throughout my writing, I’ve had all kinds of thoughts associated with feeling bad for doing something I truly love to do. My thoughts tried to make me feel guilty because I wasn’t out getting clients and earning more money. You have no idea how my mind continually tried to jump in with thoughts causing me to feel like I was wasting my time writing.

Was staying focused on my writing really the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with? The answer was no!

That day I had greater awareness of what the mind was trying to do! Staying focused on my writing was the easy part. Not getting caught up in all the thoughts running through my head was the hard part!

The hardest thing you have to deal with is your mind! The hardest thing you have to deal with is letting your thoughts freely enter and leave your head without engaging in the thoughts! This is not as easy as it appears.

You may think the hardest thing you have to deal with is getting through the issues you struggle with now. Issues like getting through the divorce and things will be better. Issues like losing weight and people will treat you nicer. Issues like changing jobs and you won’t have to deal with difficult people anymore. Those issues can be hard. I’m not downplaying the difficulty! What makes your issues hard to deal with?

As you move through your issues, do you tend to have positive uplifting thoughts as to how you can best move through your issues? Or would you tend to hear negative unsupportive thoughts running through your head? Does your mind allow you to be at peace with what you’ve done? Or does your mind keep reminding you of how things in the past didn’t work out and what you’re doing won’t work anyway?

Some days it’s pretty easy to turn off those negative thoughts. Then there are other days where no matter what you do, the negative thoughts just take over!

The mind continually tries to get you to think you need to be somewhere other than where you are in that moment! The mind wants you to think what you are doing in the moment is not as important as all the other things you should be doing instead! For example, if you get this done, then everything will fall into place so much easier. If you get that done, then your family will love you even more. If you finish this first, then you can afford that. There is no end to the kinds of things your mind wants you to believe.

How do you deal with the thoughts that run through the mind?

The most important thing you can do is start paying attention to the kinds of thoughts you get caught up in! That truly is the most important thing you can do for your Self. Why?

There is purpose in the thoughts you have. Thoughts come and go all day long. Many thoughts just zoom on by. If you get caught up in any of the thoughts, those thoughts are worth paying attention to. Paying attention to those thoughts leads you to the unrest associated with those thoughts. It is the unrest inside of you which causes certain negative unsupportive thoughts to continually surface. When you resolve that unrest, those certain negative thoughts will literally disappear. Imagine how that could make a difference in your life!

The mind will always have something more to think about and more you can do. The mind will always have comments and judgments. The mind will also continue to repeat certain thoughts just so you can get caught up in them.

You will only get caught up in thoughts which have caused you some kind of unrest inside of your Self. Becoming aware of the thoughts which cause you unrest leads you to a place of healing and resolution. Once you heal and resolve that unrest, you no longer get caught up in those thoughts. Those thoughts literally transform and disappear.

For me personally, being aware of my mind does not mean I won’t ever have negative unsupportive thoughts. Being aware allows me to consciously pay attention to the kinds of thoughts I get caught up in. It’s those thoughts which guide me forward to heal and resolve any ‘unrest’ I’m feeling inside.

I truly have experienced the transformation I talk about. Each new day I experience more and more inner peace with this approach.

Everything you ‘walk through’ in life, whether easy or hard, takes one step at a time. Each step is filled with experiences. Those experiences are accompanied with thoughts of all kinds. Becoming more and more aware of your thoughts is part of the learning and growing process.

You are always rewarded for doing your inner work.

There is so much more to share about the mind! I’m looking forward to sharing my new book with you.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Master Energetic Intuitive!

Have the Spiritual Courage to look at things that cause you unrest and you will be rewarded with Inner Peace!

August 2, 2018 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Family members tend to do things which can upset you. Looking at that upset can bring so much joy into your life.

This past week I had the spiritual courage to look at the unrest I was feeling inside. I looked deeper into a part of me I wasn’t prepared for. That courage rewarded me with a calm and peaceful feeling inside.

I thought my real life experience may inspire you to have the spiritual courage to look at any unrest you may be experiencing right now.

Let me start out by sharing what I mean by spiritual courage. Spirit has to do with you as a human being or a soul. You can’t physically see your spirit. Courage is the ability to move through something that frightens you.

It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about your Self. It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about the different life experiences which cause you to feel unrest inside. Living everyday with spiritual courage rewards you with empowerment and self awareness beyond measure.

Now onto the real life experience…..

Every Saturday my mom invites us to play TV bingo with her. Have you ever played bingo? Well, I’ve played bingo a number of times in my life. After playing with my mom for a few months I eventually stopped. Playing bingo with my mom wasn’t something I enjoyed.

My mom plays bingo a lot. There is always conversation about her not winning. Even if she wins money playing bingo she continually talks about how she never wins. This past weekend again she talked about not winning. For some reason I got upset about what she said. I noticed I felt agitated when she spoke. Feeling upset and agitated are reactions. Once those reactions surfaced I knew there was ‘unrest’ inside of me.

I started to really pay attention to that unrest. The next day I saw what the unrest was about! The unrest I was experiencing had to do with feeling powerless! Where did the word powerless come from?

I knew when mom was talking something she said caused me to react. So I started to look at what she said. I noticed mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. For example, she continually reinforces how the bingo caller doesn’t call the number she needs to get a bingo. She says the other people in the bingo hall are luckier and win more than she does. She has many reasons why she can’t win which are all pointed at what others are or aren’t doing.

The word ‘powerless’ really stood out for me. I didn’t feel so energetic when I thought about being powerless. I kept asking myself, ‘what bothered me about noticing mom was powerless to make changes?’ In no time I became aware of a pattern with my mom. How she talks about not winning at bingo is how she also talks about not being able to lose weight.

When it comes to losing weight my mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. The first 30 plus years of my life, mom went to some kind of weight loss club. She was always on a diet of some kind. She lost some weight. Then a week or two later she put the weight back on. This cycle continued year after year. As far back as I can remember she would justify her weight gains having to do with what others did or didn’t do. Dieting and weight loss has always been an issue in our family. It was interesting now to be aware of this pattern.

What was my mom showing me…about me? What was I learning about myself? Through everything I was shown how does that help me to resolve my unrest?

Asking myself these questions helped me to find my answers. The same approach would work for you. Asking yourself empowering questions like these helps you go inside yourself in times when you are experiencing unrest. Inside of you is where you find your answers.

For my answers I started looking in both my personal and professional life!

Personally, I am dealing with maple bugs outside our home. Talk about feeling powerless. More and more every day I see these bugs multiplying in numbers. They are crawling everywhere. Somehow these bugs are making their way into our home. If you are familiar with maple bugs, they leave spots all over the place. No matter what I do to keep the number of bugs down or even keep them out of the house hasn’t been working. It’s like I can’t win. It leaves me feeling powerless to change this situation with the bugs.

Professionally, I’m almost done writing my second book. Publishing this book is happening at a time when I’m also re-positioning my business. Moving through these changes has left me feeling powerless some days. More and more I’m being guided to give the controls over to my Divine.

Until I had that conversation with my mom I wasn’t even aware there was unrest inside of me. I certainly had no idea that unrest had to do with feeling powerless. I also wasn’t expecting to look at the issue of not winning or the pattern of not losing weight.

This is important to hear. Until your reactions surface, you may have no idea you were even upset. Your reactions help you pay attention to whatever caused you to react. Only when you become aware of your reactions, can you do something to resolve them. That is self awareness.

Spiritual courage always rewards you for doing your inner work.

Through the experiences with my mom I am excited to say I have greater self awareness when it comes to:

Powerless versus Empowered;
Can’t win versus Winning.

It is in the self awareness where the healing takes place inside. When you have the spiritual courage to look at areas of unrest inside of you, your life transforms in more ways than you could ever know.

For me I’ve now noticed a huge change within myself. One of the immediate changes I experienced had to do with feeling more compassionate and understanding with my mom. Even my thoughts have changed. Now when I think of the word powerless that word doesn’t cause me to feel tired. I actually feel energetically empowered.

Growing up I remember wondering why my mom doesn’t just change her behaviors and get on with life. I judged her and others for not being able to change. Now I’m aware of that judgment. With that awareness I am more conscious of passing judgment around what it takes to change. It can be easy to think and talk about things. It’s not so easy to actually take action.

Everything that happens in your life is for your own learning and growing. What you speak about regarding your experiences doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. Your experiences and your truth only have to make sense to you.

Let me end by saying….having a glimpse at my past helped me to resolve the unrest I recently felt. Resolving my unrest is about me and has nothing to do with how my mom did or didn’t do anything in her life. My mom is living her life perfectly according to her plan.

I perceived my mom living from a position of feeling powerless. Those are my words. My words actually helped me to find my own truth.

Some days learning and growing takes a lot of spiritual courage. Every experience you heal through leaves you to feel a calm and peaceful feeling inside. That inner peace spreads out into all my relationships.

Stories like this one will be in my new book!

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Self Empowerment Expert!

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