problems – Page 2

Whose Problems are Easier?

January 30, 2018 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

There can be days when you think it would be so much easier to solve some of the problems others have to deal with. You would know exactly how you would handle them. The thing about that is their problems aren’t yours. You have been given your problems to help you learn the life lessons you are here to grow through.

Recently I did a series of 6 short video tips for the Public Speaker’s Association. The first tip – you are your own leading authority! Let me give you some background first. The video link is below.

You are the only person you take to bed with you every night and the only person you wake up with every morning. You are the only person you take with you everywhere you go 24,7,365. That’s what makes you the leading authority of you and your life. That’s why you should never give up on yourself!

You know in any moment of time if all of a sudden you feel sick or if you are bothered about what someone says or does. You know how you feel inside when someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do. You even know when you feel so excited you want to shout from the rooftops! What do you do with what you know?

Knowing yourself is about having awareness of what you are thinking, what you are feeling emotionally, what’s going on in your physical body and what’s going on in your energy. That awareness will serve you greatly.

For example, let’s say you notice your knees have started to hurt again. It’s been months since you’ve had any pain in your knees and now the pain is back. The fact that your knees are hurting now, especially when they haven’t been hurting for months, indicates a change is taking place. That change is causing you some unrest inside. The unrest expresses itself as pain in the physical body. Aches and pain in the physical body get your attention. To be aware is to observe what’s going on in your life right now. What is ‘different’ causing your knees to hurt? Consider these questions:

Are there any changes taking place in the relationships around you?
Are there any changes taking place in your professional or personal life?
Are there any changes taking place in locations, for example you have a pending move or maybe children are making a move?

Think about it this way. If you are doing something quite challenging causing change in your life there is unrest! That unrest shows up in how you think, feel and act. Unrest disrupts your energetic flow which leads to physical aches and pains.

You see unrest is expressed as reactions. Reactions are like red flags trying to get your attention. The pain which surfaced in your knees right now is a red flag. What’s going on inside of you in relation to what’s going on outside of you? Why does that matter?

Imagine your awareness is growing. After months of feeling good you notice pain in your knees again. You think to yourself, ‘what’s going on in my life right now?’ The next day walking into work you can really feel the soreness in the knees. That’s it! A change in jobs! You realize you are about to get a new job where you take on more responsibility. Wow. Your thoughts are filled with excitement about the change and at the same time you’re a little hesitant because of the added responsibilities. To be excited and hesitant at the same time creates this ‘go forward – pull back’ movement in your energy. That impacts your physical body which in this case impacts your knees.

Having that realization helps you work with the pain in your knees. You will get a sense the pain is only temporary. The pain is helping to see you have some unrest around getting the new job. That awareness leaves you to feel more empowered inside.

You are your own leading authority when it comes to you and your own life. To grow with that awareness serves you greatly as you move forward with each new day. You can see the first video here: https://youtu.be/5veNlO_uEdE

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Self Empowerment and Inner Strength Expert!

Assumptions Lead You Mentally Down the Wrong Path!

December 29, 2017 By Sheila Unique 1 Comment

Christmas may be a time of year where you make assumptions more than any other time. Assumptions like thinking if you don’t get a gift for that person they will be mad or if you don’t spend a certain amount of money you look cheap. Assumptions can lead you down an interesting path!

Last Saturday at the end of my walk on the treadmill the phone rang. The call display showed ‘anonymous’ caller. I assumed the call was from my mother-in-law. Her name was top of my mind because she calls quite often and her number shows up as anonymous. I also assumed my husband was heading over to her place so I clicked off the call. The same caller called right back. This time I let the call go to voicemail. In no time I was done on the treadmill.

I noticed the more I thought about my mother-in-law calling the more upset I was getting. I was aware I was reacting for some reason. Within 10 minutes of the calls my husband came home. He noticed I was upset and asked what was going on. I asked him why his mother would be calling. He thought that was weird that she would call because he was just at her place. I went and had my shower while he called her back.

While in the shower I realized those calls may not have come from my mother-in-law! There are 3 people in our family circle who have private phone numbers. When they call our home their numbers shows up as ‘anonymous.’ I could feel I had made a huge mistake. After my shower I immediately went to my husband. I apologized and told him I made a mistake. He said he had talked with his mother and knew it wasn’t her. We still didn’t know who called because they didn’t leave a voicemail.

What causes a person to react? You go about your day and something happens causing you to get upset. How do you handle that? Let’s say you experience things like this:

You send a text to your spouse or child and it takes them hours to reply;
You ask someone if they could help right now and they don’t show up for hours;
Someone says they will get back to you with an answer and after weeks you have no reply;
You assume things about family gift exchanges or whose going to cook what for Christmas dinner and it doesn’t happen;
A close friend says they won’t see a person you don’t like anymore and in no time you see them with that person.

These are real life examples. When you find you are upset over scenarios like these it can be pretty hard to keep your thoughts from assuming things! What matters is being aware when you are reacting!

It has been my observation reactions can surface quickly and unexpectedly. You can’t change reactions once they surface. What you can do is pay attention to what’s going on around you when you are reacting.

When paying attention consider these few points:

What you initially think is your problem will not be your problem.
Go forward working with what happened! You can’t undo what has been done! That means you can’t take back your reaction, you can’t change the setting so what happened doesn’t happen like that again. So many people try to correct or fix what happened. That is like re-winding your life which isn’t possible.
Observe your reactions with the intention of resolving the unrest inside of you. It was inside of you where the upset surfaced. It is inside of you where healing takes place. For example, let’s say you experienced getting upset over something your child did. You handled the situation as best you could. After a while you notice you’re still upset about something. What is that upset inside of you?
Ask yourself empowering questions! These would be questions that lead you to answers about yourself. The brain likes to keep busy. Get the brain to look for your own answers. For example, an empowering question could be what really upsets you about that?
Notice what’s running through your mind. What is that little voice inside your head saying? What are you feeling emotionally? Any aches or pains indicate where the upset is energetically settling in your physical body. The combination of your thoughts and your emotions impact your physical body.
The more you pay attention to what’s going on inside and outside of you the more you will find your way to resolving any unrest inside.

What caused me to get upset over one phone call? What I thought was the problem was not the problem! My immediate thought…or my assumption of my mother-in-law calling did influence the direction of my thoughts. Where I went with my thoughts was the problem. This is important to hear. When something happens causing you to react in some way where you go with your thoughts is what leads you to the unrest inside of yourself.

Self awareness rewards you greatly. Shortly after the incident I experienced I learned the ‘anonymous’ caller was our 6 year old grandson. He was calling to see if we could play with them. He didn’t leave a message on the phone because his mom hadn’t taught him that yet.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship and Self Empowerment Expert!

Perception Makes a Difference!

November 27, 2017 By Sheila Unique 2 Comments

So many times life gives you messages to help you learn and grow. It’s not always obvious what those messages are about. I’d like to share an example of a problem I experienced and how that problem gave me wonderful messages.

For the last two weeks my computer had been doing weird things. When working with emails, I clicked on the reply key. Instead of moving the message onto the screen to reply, it booted the message down into the draft stage. When I deleted one message, it deleted 3 or 4 of them. When performing the copy and paste feature the computer couldn’t do it. All of this got to be very aggravating.

Someone had mentioned the battery for the mouse may need to be changed. I did that and my attempt to fix the problem didn’t work.

The computer went in to be serviced. They found the problem. The clicker in the mouse was worn out. After how many years of using that same mouse I now needed a new one.

Something I thought was the problem was not the problem at all. Something I thought was going to cost me a lot of money to fix turned out to cost me less than $80. This whole experience blessed me with a gift.

How can you take a problem and turn it into a gift? When you have problems, those problems are opportunities for you to learn and grow. This doesn’t mean you have to like your problems. Not at all! As a matter of fact, you won’t initially see problems as opportunities because of the thoughts and emotions which accompany the problems.

In the problem stage, thoughts and emotions express themselves as reactions. Reactions cloud the mind and distort your perception. The most beautiful thing about reactions is this. Reactions show you there is unrest inside. Until you react you may have no idea of the unrest. Those reactions are not meant to be used to beat your self up. They surface as guidance for you to learn and grow.

You have the power to work with your reactions. The moment reactions surface pay attention to what’s going on inside and outside of you. Having that awareness leads you to find a resolution. You will know you have resolved your problem when you experience a shift in your perception. That shift takes something perceived as a problem and turns it into a gift.

Let’s go back to the example of my experience and I can explain further.

After being aware my computer wasn’t working properly, I did what I could to resolve the problem. The problem wasn’t resolved causing me to feel aggravated. I noticed my aggravation mostly had to do with disempowerment which clouded my perception. When I took action and had the problem looked at by a computer expert the real source of the problem was identified and resolved.

Throughout that process I experienced quite a shift inside myself. Within days after getting the computer home I could see how the Universe blessed me with a gift!

The computer and the mouse had wonderful messages for sharing.

Firstly, is the problem really the problem? Focusing on the computer didn’t help me consider how the mouse was influencing this problem! Think about your life. How many times do you focus on what you perceive is the problem and it isn’t the problem?

Secondly, the mouse represents thoughts and the computer represents the physical body. The thoughts ‘control’ the input and direction of the physical body. The physical body is impacted by your input…in whatever form you use. Again think of your life. How many times do your thoughts mislead you around what the problem really is about?

Here are some examples…..

You have back pain. You look to your back as the problem;
Your hips burn. You think your hips are giving out due to your age;
You can’t lose weight. You look for another diet to try;
Your parents make you mad. You look to your parents to change;
You’re depressed. You think the medication isn’t working;

Those are just a few examples of how you can get caught up in what you think or perceive is the problem. It happens very innocently! Yet what thoughts and emotions keep the problem going? Have you ever thought about that?

What you are thinking and feeling does impact relationships of all kinds. Thoughts and emotions also impact your physical body and overall health. It is a fact when problems are resolved causing a shift in your thoughts, emotions and your energy the physical body will immediately ‘right’ itself.

I just got back from a 9 day retreat in Hawaii. The experience of the computer and mouse was very timely for me. Timely in that it reminded me to be very conscious of my thoughts and how those thoughts influence the running of my inner ‘computer.’

Everything you experience in life offers you much learning and growing. You learn about what you like and don’t like. You learn about what works and doesn’t work. You learn what you react to and what you are at peace with. Until you have any experience you can’t know what the learning will be for you.

What kinds of problems are you experiencing these days? I invite you to consider the learning and growing element throughout the process. You will see your gifts.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship and Self Empowerment Expert!

What, No Angels Singing Praises?

August 29, 2017 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

You’ve been struggling so hard to accomplish something. The day finally arrives! You accomplished it. What? You don’t hear the Angels sing their praises? You don’t see fireworks in the sky? You’ve been trying so hard to accomplish this so you would feel better. The day it happens you still feel the same. What is actually happening?

Recently a lady was telling me about having so many emails in your inbox at work. Hundreds and hundreds of unread emails waited for her. It didn’t matter how hard she tried the emails kept coming. Over time she thought it would be so wonderful to have no emails in her inbox. She thought it would be so wonderful to be able to have zero emails for a change. Having zero emails….wow that would make her feel so great.

The day arrived. She finally got to zero emails in her inbox! The interesting thing is she told me there wasn’t the excitement she thought she would have. She jokingly said the Angels didn’t sing and the trumpets didn’t roar like she thought they would. How interesting.

Another person I know shared they won quite a bit of money on the lottery. They talked about the fact that their problems didn’t go away. As a matter of fact relationship issues surfaced again.

The perceived solution to the problem doesn’t always give you what you think it will. The reason that doesn’t happen is because the unrest a person feels on the inside can’t be ‘fixed’ by something on the outside.

Using the example above, if you have so many emails to the point it starts to bother you, the bother is showing you have unrest inside? What does that bring up for you? Every day you look at all the unread emails what does that show you about yourself?

You see when you resolve the unrest which surfaces inside you will be in the most empowered place to handle all your emails regardless if they have been read or not. You won’t have to wait to get to zero emails to experience a great accomplishment. You will naturally experience inner ‘rest’ at the point of resolution.

Using the lottery winner, if the winner had unresolved issues with a past relationship those issues can surface again. If the other person in that relationship was mean, selfish and hard to deal with, once they find out about the money the same mean selfish and hard to deal with person shows up again. Those issues surface giving the winner another opportunity to heal whatever is inside.

Accomplishing things is part of a natural progression in life. There is a beginning, middle and end. Accomplishing is a part of moving forward. Will the Angels sing their praises? Will the trumpets sound? Maybe! Those praises and sounds may just show up when you resolve the unrest inside.

….and let me add, many times you accomplish things that have been really challenging because you have resolved the learning and growing from the experience.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Expert, Master Problem Solver!

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