thoughts and thinking

Who’s Watching?

August 16, 2013 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Every new day I learn more about the dynamics in relationships. Today was no exception!

I was talking with one of my daughters. We were chatting about different ways she could connect with her 2 year old son. We talked about how she could take a few minutes and just do what he wants, like pushing his toy cars around the house. In those few minutes of playing with him, she could use her creativity to show him different fun things he could do with the cars. As the little guy goes about exploring the new fun ways of playing, she may find a few minutes of free time for herself.

At one point in the conversation my daughter said she worries about what her daughter is thinking when she as the mom is being with her son. She added that her daughter watches her when she’s playing with him. My response was that her daughter is watching how her mom interacts with the people around her. In those moments of her interacting with the son, her daughter would be observing and learning how to treat her brother. Through her sharing I was reminded of how influential children are at that young age.

I personally feel this learning applies to all of us and contributes to the dynamics in our relationships as adults. What can be learned from watching people interact in relationships? We as children watched our parents and learned how to treat people, just like our children watch and learn from us. Not only do children watch, they listen and hear things as well. As we grow up and experience the different dynamics in relationships we may get a sense of what ‘works or doesn’t work’ when interacting with others. Getting a sense of what doesn’t feel right or what doesn’t work gives us an opportunity to grow. What we do with those opportunities makes all the difference.

Sheila Unique

Work from there!

August 1, 2013 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

Have you ever heard yourself say you weren’t going to say or do something ever again? Maybe you weren’t going to swear again and out of your mouth comes a swear word. Maybe you are trying not to worry about money these days and catch yourself fretting over money. Maybe you weren’t going to get mad at your partner when they didn’t do what you wanted them to do and all of a sudden you are mad. What do you do in those moments of realizing what just happened?

Allow me to share my story with you. The other day I made a few main dishes for supper. My husband Jimmy was working late and I wanted to have a couple of choices for him to choose from. When he got home I told him he could choose what he wanted to eat. He chose to have some of both main dishes. I said no, he could only have one or the other and he had to choose. As soon as I said ‘you choose’ for the second time, I instantly realized I was not okay with his choice. I also realized I had expectations of him only picking one or the other leaving us with leftovers for the next night. Here I was saying you choose and then I didn’t let him choose. In that moment of awareness, all I could do was laugh at myself. My reaction of not being okay with his choice was right there in front of me to see. Immediately I shared my learning with Jimmy and he enjoyed some of both main dishes for supper.

When I told Jimmy he couldn’t have what he wanted I couldn’t ‘take those words back,’ so to speak. All I could do was ‘work from there’. All I could do was work from that moment of becoming aware and that is the moment the healing inside begins.

Where is ‘there’? ‘There’ can be a moment of time presenting a window of opportunity to heal something inside you. In any moment of reaction there can be a potential ‘there’ which presents the opportunity to heal whatever is bothering you. For example, if you realized you just said something mean to your partner, once the words are out, you are ‘there’ in a moment of awareness. Can you start in that moment of awareness…and work from there?

Everyday life happens. If there are any reactions, these reactions surface reflecting unresolved feelings or incomplete experiences. What’s important is feeling whatever comes up, when it comes up and allowing the energy to move those feelings through. Once you connect to those feelings, they are already on their way to being resolved. This takes very little effort on your part.

Since coming back from India, I have experienced many times when I’ve had trouble finding words for what I’m feeling. In those moments of not having the words, I start to feel what is ‘there.’ It has been such a blessing to feel the feelings become still and then clear and be gone.

For you, there may be times where you don’t get any words, only sensations in your body. That is a perfect opportunity to just feel what is there and healing takes place…with very little effort.

As the globe is awakening, the energy around us now supports everyone moving through their charges very quickly. We are being called to work in the now.

You don’t have to believe me. Play with the concept of working from the moment of the reaction, feel the bother without knowing what ‘it’ is and be still in the clearing. Blessings to you always.

Sheila Unique

Staff pick of the day!

June 28, 2013 By Sheila Unique 2 Comments

I just received word that the radio show ‘The Best People We Know Show’ was awarded the ‘staff pick of the day’ on BlogTalkRadio. What makes a radio show ‘the staff pick of the day?’

This radio show has over a million listeners. Kudos on an awesome job to Deb Scott, Award Winning Best Podcaster and amazing Radio Host…I can’t say enough wonderful things about my experience with her as a radio host and as a person. Deb had interviewed me on the radio show that day talking about gaining a new perspective to see the challenging people, things and situations in our life as opportunities for exciting celebrations. When I look back at how the whole experience from beginning to end…from the connections…all the way to the celebration email today, I started to see how the divine plan is so vast and perfect!

A very precious business colleague and friend Shawne Duperon, Award Winning Networking, Gossip & Media Expert had shared my name with Deb (Shawne is another person I can’t say enough great things about). That started the whole ball rolling at the beginning of this year. The fruitful ‘gossip’ Shawne shared with Deb opened a powerful opportunity for me to be interviewed on the radio show. All of the steps Deb took to lead up to the day of the show…and then the steps she took throughout the interview paved the way for an unforgettable experience.

The radio show was under way and after talking with Deb for a short while, we were joined by two gentlemen who had called into the show sharing their uplifting insights. Both of these men added such value to the conversation. The gentleman Richard shared how he kept asking himself, ‘why me…?’ Deb highlighted how we could ask a different question. The next gentleman from New York, who identified himself as ‘The Daily Seed’ on Twitter talked about the doors that are open for us. We were touched by his words.

To share a little more about asking a different question…the mind needs a job! When we are stuck in a loop where the mind keeps playing the same thing over and over, give the mind something new to work with; give the mind a new question to answer! For example, when the mind tries to lead us saying things like, ‘why me… or why do they always….’ this is usually something unsupportive in nature. Unsupportive in the sense that the mind leads you to look for the answer to the question ‘why me or why do they.’ When we become aware of what the mind is doing, we can ‘lead’ the mind in a different direction. We can give the mind something else to think about, for example, ‘what is this really showing me…what is really bothering me about that…?’ The mind wants something to do and when we change up the questions, we are guided in different directions. These different directions lead us to the open doors that lie ahead.

How does a radio show like ‘The Best People We Know Show’ get picked as the staff pick that day? Consider this…all the amazing parts had come together as a whole…collectively benefiting the many listeners who showed up that day. Collectively this is a great example of how the divine’s plan is more magnificent than we could ever know. That divine plan is mighty! What an unexpected opportunity to celebrate. For all the precious gifts in this mighty plan….I am truly grateful.

Sheila Unique

If you would like to listen to the radio show click here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2013/06/26/challenges-to-celebrations–quick-shifts-sheila-unique

How do you know?

January 29, 2013 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

What are we growing towards? Consider this…we are continually growing and we are either growing towards being in a state of non-reaction/peace or towards being in a state of conflict. How do we know?

When we are bothered about something, there is conflict…it really is that simple. When we recognize there is conflict, how do we find our way to being at peace with it? People may say they don’t feel they’re bothered about anything and yet they are going in for surgery next month….or work is suggesting they go for mediation around something…or their spouse is talking about hating their job and they find it hard to listen to the same stuff every day. Those are examples of people feeling conflict coming from the body mind or spirit.

This past week, Sharon and I facilitated a telecall series on depression. I had invited my daughter to submit some things that she felt were maybe causing her to feel depressed. She thought about it and didn’t feel she had any issues so she didn’t submit any.

The very next day after the telecall series was ended…she called me. She so wonderfully asked me to help her with her kids. One of them was sick again and she just didn’t know what to do with the kids anymore. She asked why wouldn’t this sickness stuff stop already? The whole winter the kids had been sick in some way where they ended up at the doctors for something. As she talked I could just feel how depressed she was in what she was saying. I asked her if it bothers her to have her kids sick again. Of course it did! I shared with her how there was such a depressed feeling there. Once we started talking, it was like a revelation for her and she could feel it. My daughter was in a place where she didn’t ‘think’ she had any issues and got to a place where her kids were sick again causing her to ‘feel’ hopeless and depressed.

I had talked further to my daughter about what she felt depression was. She had shared how she couldn’t understand how people could sit in their depression and not do anything about it. I’m not going to share the whole conversation but we did clear around an element of control that she was working with. One of the things about depression or anything anyone around us is feeling….we can’t change anyone around us but we sure can shift what we feel inside.

I know for myself, I had felt I still had a depression type feeling around money. I didn’t feel I could create money. That feeling and more had shifted through the telecall series. I have been walking through some of my money issues with this India campaign going on right now. Yes there is conflict and the only way I know how to feel at peace inside is to take the ‘not so great’ feelings and clear whatever is causing them…leaving me in a place of feeling at peace with whatever happens.

Our day to day living brings us life stuff. When we do anything and feel conflict we can grow towards feeling at peace around whatever is causing us to feel the conflict. Those causes come from within us and that is where they will be resolved. Energy clearing is definitely one of those ways to clear conflict.

You don’t need to know all the questions to ask….or even all the answers. That’s where Sharon and I come in. One of the most important roles for you is to become more and more aware of what you are feeling. Once you feel something…it’s on its way to being healed.

We are always rewarded for our inner work.

Sheila Unique

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