Have you ever been in a place where you were going about your day and all of a sudden out of nowhere someone does something and now you are mad…and I mean mad? Maybe someone pushed you a little too far; maybe they just happen to be the one to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. What do you do?
When you are angry, you are angry. The interesting thing about anger showing up unexpectedly is we often don’t even know where that intense anger is coming from. Then what usually happens after the anger comes out is we beat ourselves up for doing what we did. Have you ever been there? Could that anger be a good thing?
After you got mad and beat yourself up, have you ever noticed how things started to change for the better?
It has been my experience when working with people…they have trouble with the whole idea of being angry or even thinking they could get to a place of expressing anger with any intensity. The thought of anger may bring up memories of times when they witnessed people who always seemed to be angry or people taking their anger out on others. Would it be the emotion of anger or would it be the expression of anger that bothers them?
Anger is a common emotion expressed by every person if they want to or not. Anger often opens a gateway for you to resolve challenges in your life. Regardless of who or what is involved in the situation around anger, the fact that you got mad is an important sign you have something deep down inside bothering you! There is some unrest around what took place at the time you were angry. This is a time to really notice what is going on around you. Why would that be useful?
If you got mad because someone didn’t do what you asked them to do or someone didn’t do their job causing you to fall behind in your work, notice what else is going on around you? Are you feeling pressure about something and now this other dynamic of people not doing what you needed them to do is causing you to feel angry? Being aware is very important. Trying to change or suppress anger will not make you less angry; to change or suppress anger will only bury your feelings inside. Those valuable moments of feeling angry can guide you to a place of resolving unrest inside.
Anger can actually ‘shake things up’ in yourself and others. Consider these points…
- Anger can move you into a place of doing something you’ve been wanting to do for long time, kind of propels you forward somehow;
- Anger can stop you from something that doesn’t feel right, kind of getting you to a place where you will not tolerate whatever that was any longer;
- Anger can be the instigator which starts to set things ‘right,’ kind of letting yourself know a change is taking place (and that change can easily be positive.)
Allow me to put this forward….if you find it hard to deal with anger you may be in a place where anger could be hiding behind something else. For example, if you’ve always considered yourself to have high anxiety, the emotion of anger may be ‘hiding’ behind what you think is anxiety. What if the feeling of being anxious was more about being angry? Or if you find certain behaviors hard to be around causing you to feel stressed over how someone could act that way, the emotion of anger may be hiding behind feelings labeled as stress.
Talking about anger and what it is for you can help you shift your perception leaving you in a more empowered place. To be in a more empowered place can help you to resolve those feelings that can be buried deep down inside of you.
When anger is expressed fully…in other words when you let the anger out instead of suppressing it…the anger you are feeling in that moment will be ‘done.’
From my experience, to express any feeling fully is best done at a time when you are alone and you can be with what you are feeling. Start by thinking about what made you mad. Feel what comes up inside of you…you may be feeling sensations in your body or a pressure seems to overtake you. Stay with those feelings without judging what you are feeling or without trying to change anything. Those feelings will eventually be gone and the anger you were feeling resolved. Depending on the intensity of what you are processing determines the amount of time it takes.
The most important thing is your awareness. To be aware of feeling angry is about recognizing what is taking place in that moment; being mindful something bothers you and then going forward resolving it.
May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship Coach Gifted Intuitive
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