Family members tend to do things which can upset you. Looking at that upset can bring so much joy into your life.
This past week I had the spiritual courage to look at the unrest I was feeling inside. I looked deeper into a part of me I wasn’t prepared for. That courage rewarded me with a calm and peaceful feeling inside.
I thought my real life experience may inspire you to have the spiritual courage to look at any unrest you may be experiencing right now.
Let me start out by sharing what I mean by spiritual courage. Spirit has to do with you as a human being or a soul. You can’t physically see your spirit. Courage is the ability to move through something that frightens you.
It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about your Self. It takes spiritual courage to constantly learn about the different life experiences which cause you to feel unrest inside. Living everyday with spiritual courage rewards you with empowerment and self awareness beyond measure.
Now onto the real life experience…..
Every Saturday my mom invites us to play TV bingo with her. Have you ever played bingo? Well, I’ve played bingo a number of times in my life. After playing with my mom for a few months I eventually stopped. Playing bingo with my mom wasn’t something I enjoyed.
My mom plays bingo a lot. There is always conversation about her not winning. Even if she wins money playing bingo she continually talks about how she never wins. This past weekend again she talked about not winning. For some reason I got upset about what she said. I noticed I felt agitated when she spoke. Feeling upset and agitated are reactions. Once those reactions surfaced I knew there was ‘unrest’ inside of me.
I started to really pay attention to that unrest. The next day I saw what the unrest was about! The unrest I was experiencing had to do with feeling powerless! Where did the word powerless come from?
I knew when mom was talking something she said caused me to react. So I started to look at what she said. I noticed mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. For example, she continually reinforces how the bingo caller doesn’t call the number she needs to get a bingo. She says the other people in the bingo hall are luckier and win more than she does. She has many reasons why she can’t win which are all pointed at what others are or aren’t doing.
The word ‘powerless’ really stood out for me. I didn’t feel so energetic when I thought about being powerless. I kept asking myself, ‘what bothered me about noticing mom was powerless to make changes?’ In no time I became aware of a pattern with my mom. How she talks about not winning at bingo is how she also talks about not being able to lose weight.
When it comes to losing weight my mom talks like she’s powerless to make changes. The first 30 plus years of my life, mom went to some kind of weight loss club. She was always on a diet of some kind. She lost some weight. Then a week or two later she put the weight back on. This cycle continued year after year. As far back as I can remember she would justify her weight gains having to do with what others did or didn’t do. Dieting and weight loss has always been an issue in our family. It was interesting now to be aware of this pattern.
What was my mom showing me…about me? What was I learning about myself? Through everything I was shown how does that help me to resolve my unrest?
Asking myself these questions helped me to find my answers. The same approach would work for you. Asking yourself empowering questions like these helps you go inside yourself in times when you are experiencing unrest. Inside of you is where you find your answers.
For my answers I started looking in both my personal and professional life!
Personally, I am dealing with maple bugs outside our home. Talk about feeling powerless. More and more every day I see these bugs multiplying in numbers. They are crawling everywhere. Somehow these bugs are making their way into our home. If you are familiar with maple bugs, they leave spots all over the place. No matter what I do to keep the number of bugs down or even keep them out of the house hasn’t been working. It’s like I can’t win. It leaves me feeling powerless to change this situation with the bugs.
Professionally, I’m almost done writing my second book. Publishing this book is happening at a time when I’m also re-positioning my business. Moving through these changes has left me feeling powerless some days. More and more I’m being guided to give the controls over to my Divine.
Until I had that conversation with my mom I wasn’t even aware there was unrest inside of me. I certainly had no idea that unrest had to do with feeling powerless. I also wasn’t expecting to look at the issue of not winning or the pattern of not losing weight.
This is important to hear. Until your reactions surface, you may have no idea you were even upset. Your reactions help you pay attention to whatever caused you to react. Only when you become aware of your reactions, can you do something to resolve them. That is self awareness.
Spiritual courage always rewards you for doing your inner work.
Through the experiences with my mom I am excited to say I have greater self awareness when it comes to:
- Powerless versus Empowered;
- Can’t win versus Winning.
It is in the self awareness where the healing takes place inside. When you have the spiritual courage to look at areas of unrest inside of you, your life transforms in more ways than you could ever know.
For me I’ve now noticed a huge change within myself. One of the immediate changes I experienced had to do with feeling more compassionate and understanding with my mom. Even my thoughts have changed. Now when I think of the word powerless that word doesn’t cause me to feel tired. I actually feel energetically empowered.
Growing up I remember wondering why my mom doesn’t just change her behaviors and get on with life. I judged her and others for not being able to change. Now I’m aware of that judgment. With that awareness I am more conscious of passing judgment around what it takes to change. It can be easy to think and talk about things. It’s not so easy to actually take action.
Everything that happens in your life is for your own learning and growing. What you speak about regarding your experiences doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. Your experiences and your truth only have to make sense to you.
Let me end by saying….having a glimpse at my past helped me to resolve the unrest I recently felt. Resolving my unrest is about me and has nothing to do with how my mom did or didn’t do anything in her life. My mom is living her life perfectly according to her plan.
I perceived my mom living from a position of feeling powerless. Those are my words. My words actually helped me to find my own truth.
Some days learning and growing takes a lot of spiritual courage. Every experience you heal through leaves you to feel a calm and peaceful feeling inside. That inner peace spreads out into all my relationships.
Stories like this one will be in my new book!
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Self Empowerment Expert!
Leave a Reply