Do you find you’re constantly fighting with those you love? Doesn’t matter what you say conversations end in arguments. How would you even know if healing is taking place?
Let’s start by looking at something we’re more familiar with. Healing the physical body can be easier to relate to because most of the time you can physically see and feel the difference. For example, think of burning yourself on the stove or a hot pan. Instantly your body reacts and there’s a red mark or blister on your skin that burns like heck. You do what you can to relieve the pain and heal from the burn. Depending on the severity of the burn, there can be times when the burn won’t heal. The redness and sensitivity continue to draw your attention to that spot where you burned yourself.
Healing in relationships follows the same concept. A verbal fight breaks out and instantly you’re reacting to the point you feel the hurt inside. You either do what you can to work with your reactions or that hurt continues to fester inside. Thoughts and emotions continue to draw your attention to the fight that surfaced.
I’m often asked how you know your relationships are healing. You will know through the changes in your reactions. This is the most important part of healing. Both physically and in relationships there are reactions that surface from inside. It will also be on the inside that the reaction changes and healing takes place. It has been my experience when we heal within, all our relationships change for the better. I’ll explain this even further when I talk about the three fields of energy in my next article.
There are times when healing takes place quickly and also times when reactions don’t seem to change. With any kind of healing work there are changes in your reactions even if they’re subtle in nature. For example, let’s say you find you lose your patience instantly and snap at your partner when they tell you what to do. You work on healing around losing your patience. The next time your partner tells you what to do, you find you can actually listen to them for a few minutes longer before beginning to lose your patience. If you continue to work on healing around losing your patience you will actually get to the point where you no longer lose your patience. It’s that powerful.
It’s important to look inside yourself for the healing to take place. Changes happen within before the changes are observed outside of you. One thing for sure is your awareness is needed to be able to recognize what’s going on inside in relation to what’s happening outside of you.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship Coach and Spiritual Teacher