changing others

Over these last couple of weeks, I am hearing about many people in a depressed state. Are there any people in your life going through a phase where they feel depressed or emotionally unstable right now? Have you tried to help them OUT OF their situation? Has it worked?

One of my older sisters is experiencing depression right now. Over the last couple of months I stepped forward to help her, doing some energy work and suggesting a couple of things I felt may help. She is still struggling with depression. I started to look at her as a messenger. There was more to this situation than I first thought. What was the message for me?

Every interaction with my older sister offered me the opportunity to heal something inside of myself. At first I was ‘super woman/super healer’ in some way and tried everything I thought I could do, or suggest, to help her on her journey. Some of what I suggested was welcomed and some was not. I stepped back and made the decision to leave everything up to the Divine. The Divine would take way better care of my sister than I could. I noticed how I got to the place where I could accept her for who she is and what she is going through without needing to change or fix her. Was it easy…not at all! The learning, growing and releasing was immeasurable.

As part 1 of ‘depression in a new light’, I share these words speaking from the point of view of our role in the lives of those around us.

How many times do we try to help others get out of their challenging relationships or situations and they just keep doing what they’re doing? How does it make us feel? What bothers us about the challenges they are experiencing? Is it about changing and fixing the other person so we feel better? Is it about being with what we are feeling in any moment?

Do we really know what will make the other person better? As much as we try to influence someone, we can’t change them. They have to make the change themselves. That change will come at the ‘best time’ for them for their learning and growing. We don’t know what the Divine has intended for another person which can be very freeing for us. Sometimes that freedom doesn’t feel so comforting.

With the people around us who are experiencing depression in some way, our role can be as simple as thanking the Divine for taking care of them. We can love those people for who they are and honour the choices they are making, even if it’s not the choice we would make. Their journey is about them and our journey is about us.

There was an amazing saying on the Oneness University Facebook page, ‘If you wanted to change someone else, try changing yourself and you will know what it takes for a change. Sri Amma Bhagavan.’

I invite you to consider our reactions are about us and how we feel, not about changing or fixing others. If we are reacting, we are not at peace with something inside of ourselves. When we become aware of our reactions, we are offered the opportunity to go inside and see what is there for us to grow through. It’s inside of us where the change takes place…and it’s outside of us which reflects the changes we have made. There is perfection in every moment.

In part 2 of ‘depression in a new light’, I will talk more about the state of depression…giving you a different ‘light’ on what can cause someone to feel depressed and how our energy plays a part.

Sheila Unique

Have you ever been in a place where you were going to tell someone how you thought they should do something…didn’t get to tell them for whatever reason and then watched what that person did resulting in an even better outcome than you expected? I know that’s a long winded question. Let me put to you this way. Have you ever just let your family or friends do something you thought wouldn’t work out, didn’t saying anything, and then some time later you observed it totally worked out even better than you expected? What did you notice in that experience?

One issue in my face right now is ‘telling people what I think they should do’. Do you ever do that…tell people what you think they should do? I’m talking about these kinds of examples…when your husband feels drawn to go the bank at 10:30am and you stop him saying he should go later when you think it would be best; your children want to take a night class and you talk them out of it because they should maybe get a job first then think about classes; your friend wants to buy a special gift for their friend and you talk them out of it. What about the times you ‘talk yourself out of doing something?’ You are in the grocery store and you really feel like buying butter but you don’t because you think you have lots at home (you get home and there is no butter). Have you ever done that? What did you observe from your experiences?

Think about not trying to change someone’s decision. Do you find that easy to do? If you need to say something is what you have to say for their benefit or for yours? When you want to change someone is it so they feel better or so you feel better? You can’t change someone but you can change how you feel about someone. What you feel is in your energy. What is causing you to get someone to change so you feel better? Where do you have to make the changes so you feel at peace inside?

There is a lot of effort in trying to ‘make’ people do what you want them to do. There is a lot of effort when fighting the process of going inside and resolving whatever may be causing you to react! There is no effort in being at peace with whatever is going on around you.

When people take the ‘judgement, bother or reaction’ out of anything and everything….what is left? Think about that for a minute….when you remove your ‘judgements, bothers or reactions’ from someone or something…what is left? It is within yourself where you will find peace. How will you know?

Depression in a new light Part 1

What you think?

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