dad

Labeling Family Members

December 12, 2016 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

My husband and I were playing cards with my mother this past weekend. As we played, we listened to country and western songs. A song would come up and I would ask my mom who sings that song? Mom would reply with the singer’s name and most of the time, she would tell us interesting facts about the singer and their life. This went on for hours. At one point, my mom said, ‘there isn’t too much I don’t know about the country and western singers of my time. I don’t know too much about the new ones today though.’

The next day I became aware of what was going on for me! It was like I had been testing my mom! I started to think about how smart my mom was. She is brilliant when it comes to the country and western singers of her time. I might add she is also brilliant when it comes to the Royal Family. With those thoughts I wondered why my dad couldn’t see how smart she was. Growing up I often heard my dad tell my mom she was stupid.

My awareness has expanded in a beautiful loving way. All of a sudden I had a greater appreciation for my mother’s brilliance. I notice I ask her more questions and take time to actually listen! Sounds awful to say! I can’t say that is totally different for me. I can say I am now more conscious for these different thoughts and feelings.

I continued to be with my thoughts and realized it was like I was trying to ‘prove’ my mom wasn’t stupid; she was very much smart! That surprised me! I started to have overwhelming love for her.

Have you ever experienced anything like that? Were you raised to believe things about your family members and later in life come to learn differently? Do you experience you continue to ‘label’ certain family members as being something they no longer are? Maybe you experience doing that in other relationships! It would be wonderful to hear from you.

It was and continues to be a huge gift to be in a place where I can see my mother with much more grace than I could before. Personally I feel we are always rewarded for doing our inner work!

Sheila Unique, Trainer & Speaker

Conditioning that Hurts

January 28, 2016 By Sheila Unique Leave a Comment

It can be very humbling when our conditioning surfaces causing hurt to someone else. That hurt may be intentional or unintentional. Allow me to share….

I’m experiencing a number of changes around my business. I’m finding myself to be very busy these days….in a most glorious wonderful way! Being busy means I’m not as productive doing the household chores.

My coaching has picked up greatly. With the added preparation for my new upcoming group series, as well as the facilitation I’m doing with the Oneness events, I’ve been feeling extra pressure to get things done.

This past weekend I was facilitating an event. There were feelings of fear and pressure along with the excitement. When I arrived back home I had asked my husband, Jimmy if he had done a couple of things around the home that needed to be done. He shared he did the dishes and took care of some ice we had outside on the walkway. I could feel Jimmy was so proud of all he had accomplished in his day. I was not in a place of feeling grateful for what he had done so I didn’t say anything. I noticed I started to close down and not say anything. It wasn’t long after I was home I went to bed feeling drained.

The next morning when I went into meditation I was shown what had taken place the night before!

I could see so clearly how I was acting out the conditioning I had growing up. I felt awful….and I mean awful. I could hear the words my dad used. He would be upset about something and tell my mom she sat around all day doing nothing. Personally I didn’t like how he talked to my mom that way. It bothered me inside to the point I made sure I always got things done regardless of how I felt.

Now I was seeing my dad in me and that did not feel good at all. Something I didn’t like my dad to do to my mom…I now found I was doing with my husband. It was never my intention to hurt him and yet indirectly by closing down and not talking gave him a message that was not very loving. I cried so hard. My Divine took over in the healing process.

My behavior implied Jimmy did nothing all day which was not a truth at all. For me to not even acknowledge what he did was the part that bothered me the most. Those bothersome thoughts of being ungrateful helped me to look inside myself and receive the gift of the healing around this conditioning.

When Jimmy woke up I immediately talked with him about what I had been shown. My conditioning had played out and he was on the receiving end.

I started to express my gratitude to my husband…sharing how grateful I was when I went into the kitchen that morning and there wasn’t a dirty dish anywhere. I shared how much I appreciated him taking care of the ice outside our home. It was so important to me to set ‘right’ our relationship once again.

From my experience, our conditioning shows up through people, things and situations which cause us to react in some way. When we become aware of what is going on inside of us…in relation to what is taking place outside of us…the healing begins. We start to see our lessons.

I am so grateful for the unfolding of how this conditioning played out for my greatest learning and growing. I am so blessed to have a husband who walks beside me with unconditional love and grace. The timing is always perfect!

May you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, The Relationship Coach

Creating Screens

December 29, 2011 By Sheila Unique 2 Comments

Boxing Day 2011 brought about an interesting revelation. We were at my parents place visiting with the family. Towards the end of the day, I started to notice how I was bothered about my dad smoking so much. I caught myself paying so much attention to his smoking – where he was blowing his smoke, the direction the smoke was going while it sat in the ashtray, what I was going to smell like…on and on. I was literally caught up in something that did not feel good at all. I knew I wasn’t at peace about something. Sure enough – a huge gift in that messenger, smoking!!!

I got so caught up in all the stuff about my dad and his smoking that I literally lost focus of what we were doing together as a family.

I used to talk about how smoking creates an energetic screen around the person smoking. As they smoke, a screen is there making it hard to see things clearly about themselves. This is what I saw in the revelation. The screen goes both ways! If my dad is creating a so called screen with his smoking, if I have an issue with his smoking then I am creating a screen in how I am seeing him. Am I seeing him for who he is or am I seeing him as someone with all kinds of bad habits? When I cleared my energy around my issue with smoking…clearing PAST his smoking…all I saw was this perfect dad who like everyone else only wants to love and be loved in return. What a huge gift he gave me. I for sure see smoking very differently now.

When you think back to the past week over the Christmas season, what was something that caused you to be bothered? My issue had to do with smoking…was there something that caused you to be bothered creating a screen for you? It could have been different habits that you may find offensive, like drinking, overeating, drugs, etc; different things, like not getting presents from your parents, your family not showing up for supper or how no one helped you clean up. Instead of the word smoking, substitute the something you got caught up in, which took you to a place of not feeling good.

When you look PAST the something you got caught up in, what is left?

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