We just celebrated my mom’s 75th birthday. My brother and his family put on an amazing surprise party which included their own form of the Olympic games – what a hute! It was truly a success.

A few days later I was talking to my twin sister Sharon. In the conversation she said, ‘I didn’t go to the party to work. I went to the party to have fun!’ Those words really hit home for me. I knew there was an important message for me.

How many times did I go out to visit family and they shared the problems/challenges that were going on in their lives. I felt that I should ‘work’ on those challenges somehow making things all better. Over time I started to resent having to work all the time and believe me when I share with you…I totally lost perspective of what it was to just visit…to just be with them having fun and playing!

How are you with visiting and having fun when it comes to being with the people you love! For some people, getting together with the family comes with stress. Once together, family members decide who needs to take care of who and which family member is doing what. For other people, getting together is not an option because of all the fighting that has taken place in the past. Then there are the people who are content to visit family for a short time…taking a few minutes to make sure all is well and away they go again.

What is our intention when we think of being or not being with the family? When we call to talk to our family do we have a hidden agenda where we need something or are we interested in ‘visiting’ with them?

I know for me, I have journeyed to the place where I don’t feel I need to ‘fix’ my family. That is one way I know I have grown inside myself. I can now accept my family members without feeling I need to change or make them better. Everyone of the messengers in my family has taught me so much to date…and for that I’m grateful.

Sheila Unique