Christmas may be a time of year where you make assumptions more than any other time. Assumptions like thinking if you don’t get a gift for that person they will be mad or if you don’t spend a certain amount of money you look cheap. Assumptions can lead you down an interesting path!
Last Saturday at the end of my walk on the treadmill the phone rang. The call display showed ‘anonymous’ caller. I assumed the call was from my mother-in-law. Her name was top of my mind because she calls quite often and her number shows up as anonymous. I also assumed my husband was heading over to her place so I clicked off the call. The same caller called right back. This time I let the call go to voicemail. In no time I was done on the treadmill.
I noticed the more I thought about my mother-in-law calling the more upset I was getting. I was aware I was reacting for some reason. Within 10 minutes of the calls my husband came home. He noticed I was upset and asked what was going on. I asked him why his mother would be calling. He thought that was weird that she would call because he was just at her place. I went and had my shower while he called her back.
While in the shower I realized those calls may not have come from my mother-in-law! There are 3 people in our family circle who have private phone numbers. When they call our home their numbers shows up as ‘anonymous.’ I could feel I had made a huge mistake. After my shower I immediately went to my husband. I apologized and told him I made a mistake. He said he had talked with his mother and knew it wasn’t her. We still didn’t know who called because they didn’t leave a voicemail.
What causes a person to react? You go about your day and something happens causing you to get upset. How do you handle that? Let’s say you experience things like this:
- You send a text to your spouse or child and it takes them hours to reply;
- You ask someone if they could help right now and they don’t show up for hours;
- Someone says they will get back to you with an answer and after weeks you have no reply;
- You assume things about family gift exchanges or whose going to cook what for Christmas dinner and it doesn’t happen;
- A close friend says they won’t see a person you don’t like anymore and in no time you see them with that person.
These are real life examples. When you find you are upset over scenarios like these it can be pretty hard to keep your thoughts from assuming things! What matters is being aware when you are reacting!
It has been my observation reactions can surface quickly and unexpectedly. You can’t change reactions once they surface. What you can do is pay attention to what’s going on around you when you are reacting.
When paying attention consider these few points:
- What you initially think is your problem will not be your problem.
- Go forward working with what happened! You can’t undo what has been done! That means you can’t take back your reaction, you can’t change the setting so what happened doesn’t happen like that again. So many people try to correct or fix what happened. That is like re-winding your life which isn’t possible.
- Observe your reactions with the intention of resolving the unrest inside of you. It was inside of you where the upset surfaced. It is inside of you where healing takes place. For example, let’s say you experienced getting upset over something your child did. You handled the situation as best you could. After a while you notice you’re still upset about something. What is that upset inside of you?
- Ask yourself empowering questions! These would be questions that lead you to answers about yourself. The brain likes to keep busy. Get the brain to look for your own answers. For example, an empowering question could be what really upsets you about that?
- Notice what’s running through your mind. What is that little voice inside your head saying? What are you feeling emotionally? Any aches or pains indicate where the upset is energetically settling in your physical body. The combination of your thoughts and your emotions impact your physical body.
- The more you pay attention to what’s going on inside and outside of you the more you will find your way to resolving any unrest inside.
What caused me to get upset over one phone call? What I thought was the problem was not the problem! My immediate thought…or my assumption of my mother-in-law calling did influence the direction of my thoughts. Where I went with my thoughts was the problem. This is important to hear. When something happens causing you to react in some way where you go with your thoughts is what leads you to the unrest inside of yourself.
Self awareness rewards you greatly. Shortly after the incident I experienced I learned the ‘anonymous’ caller was our 6 year old grandson. He was calling to see if we could play with them. He didn’t leave a message on the phone because his mom hadn’t taught him that yet.
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship and Self Empowerment Expert!
