struggle

The One Relationship

December 18, 2023 By Sheila Unique

Christmas is a time when we’re around family and friends more than usual. A time when it’s pretty easy to get caught up in everything that’s happening around us…to the point we lose ourselves. This is neither good nor bad because participating in life’s activities is what we’re here on earth to be doing.

Losing ourselves can throw us out of balance causing conflict inside and outside of us. One way to find our way back to our center is to be aware of any relationships that awaken unrest within us. We have relationships with anything and everything.

Consider this…we start out our day and the first relationship we have is with ourselves. From there we start interacting with maybe our spouse/partner, children or pet(s)…and those relationships are now underway. We then drive to work. We’re now in a relationship with our vehicle…then our work and co-workers. Come lunchtime. If we’re eating, there’s the relationship with our eating and food. After work we’re going for groceries and maybe even have Christmas shopping to do. Those experiences alone involve many relationships. Can you see what I’m showing you? Yes, we have a relationship with anything and everything. How are we relating in each one of them?

Do we have to be aware of every relationship? The answer is no. To grow in awareness is to become aware of the relationships where we struggle or have conflict. We’re looking for the first relationship in our day when we’re reacting more than normal. We want to be extra aware of what’s causing us to get upset and throw us off balance. Could be in the morning when we have too many things to do…could be when we get to work and feel pressure to complete projects…could be the evenings when we’re in the presence of someone who irritates us. It would be that one relationship in the day when we need to pay close attention of what’s going on inside and outside of us.

It’s important to know this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a relationship with people. I know we tend to think it has to do with others but this can be our relationship with money, time or even our state of employment. This can be our relationship with our looks or Christmas and all it entails.

Going a little further…once we’ve identified the one relationship…we continue to be like detectives. Who’s involved? What’s happening? What situation do we find ourselves in? When and where is this taking place? Bringing these kinds of details to our consciousness helps us find our way to healing and resolving that upset or unrest inside. Why…because once we’re aware, fifty percent of our healing has taken place and we get to make new choices if necessary.

Let me give you this example…I have a friend who I’ll call Rachel. She has a family member who shows up unexpectedly and it annoys her. When she thinks of that family member she gets really upset. I invited Rachel in her time of being upset…to take her attention away from the family member and move her focus to what was going on inside of her. I guided her feel her way to what the upset was about. In the process of doing that…she recalled how she was the brunt of jokes and how that family member didn’t respect her time or friendship. Her upset was towards herself for allowing the disrespect to continue…which now was the whole reason for the upset inside. Rachel was now in a position where she could heal and resolve the unrest behind that upset…leaving her to feel more at peace inside.

Sometimes the relationship we have with solving problems is a problem. Sometimes the relationship with yard work causes us stress. Sometimes just watching our partner sitting around being lazy creates unrest inside of us. Sometimes our relationship with our health is upsetting. And yes, sometimes that one family member just knows how to say the wrong things causing us to react again and again. Relationship problems are not only with people.

Can you imagine if we actually approached all our relationships with that kind of awareness? The awareness that we just need to be extra aware when there’s struggle or conflict.

In closing…we tend to think our upset has to do with people…period. That’s not true. People outside of us do things causing us to react in some way. They’re either doing or not doing something that pushes our buttons. Being aware of the person and what they’re doing is the first step in the healing process. The second step involves finding our way inside to connect with the unrest. It truly does take courage to confront our own unrest…at least that’s been my experience.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you’ll always be guided to feel at peace inside.

I wish you all the very best for an amazing Christmas Season. May 2024 be a year of growing awareness and wonderment beyond measure.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Coach and Spiritual Teacher

Laws We All Live By!

March 24, 2023 By Sheila Unique

Have you ever wondered why you struggle with certain situations? You try everything you can to have a different outcome and for some reason nothing seems to be changing. Why? Because there’re two universal laws ruling change for everyone of us. Being aware of those laws helps to eliminate the negative feelings we feel towards ourselves.

In order to exist in this world we have to live with universal laws whether we want to or not. The moment you become aware you’re struggling and something doesn’t feel right I invite you to think about what else may be influencing what’s going on for you.

Here are the two laws:

1. Where your attention goes, so goes your energy (that part will grow).

2. Where is your intention, according to that the energy manifests.

Let’s look at these two laws in action.

The first example…you’ve had pain in your knee for over a week. It seems like whatever you’re trying to do to relieve the pain isn’t working. Any time you think about your knee you become irritated because it’s getting worse. According to the universal law…when your attention is focused on having pain in your knee – with the energetic intention that it’s getting worse, that is the energy that grows.

If you want your knee to heal you need to send healing energy to your knee whenever you think about it. Even if your first thought is related to the pain getting worse…in that moment of hearing yourself say that re-direct your thinking to be about your knee getting better and healing. Your attention is on your knee and you intend healing to take place. With that focus the universe opens up avenues for healing to manifest.

The second example…you continually argue with your spouse about how much money there’re spending. Whenever anyone talks about money you tell them that your spouse is spending money all the time. As soon as the topic of money comes up at home you remind your spouse that they’re spending too much. That’s all you can see because of repeating this over and over. According to the universal law…your attention goes towards them spending all the time which is what will continue to grow especially if you have a lot of negative emotional energy directed at that one situation alone.

If you want to see your spouse differently…you need to ‘intend’ something differently. You need to take your attention off of them spending all the time and begin to focus on the changes you want to realize in your life. This isn’t about not thinking or feeling those things! This is about becoming aware of what you’re thinking and feeling…and then from there you can make new choices about what it is you really want in your life.

Now is change going to take place instantly? Yes and no! Depends on what your situation is at the time. If you’ve been focusing on negative outcomes for some time, it will take more that once to bring about change regarding your intentions.

Why is it necessary to pay attention to the universal laws? Continually dealing with the same issues over and over again eventually eats away at your self esteem and confidence related to problem solving. The moment you become aware you’re struggling observe where you’re directing your attention and what your intentions are. Knowing what they are and how to work with them makes a difference in your thinking, feeling and how your everyday life situations unfold.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Renovator, Medical Intuitive, Spiritual Teacher

Messages Behind Thoughts!

July 25, 2019 By Sheila Unique

Are you dealing with a problem you can’t seem to get out of your mind? You have all kinds of thoughts running through your mind. Have you ever really listened to the messages behind your thoughts?

Recently, my mom was in a serious car accident. It was a miracle she only had broken bones and major bruising. Time blessed mom with much healing and grace. She is back to moving along like she did before.

Mom’s car was totalled in the accident leaving her without a car. The insurance company requested she have a driving test. Mom made a decision to not buy another car until she completes this driving test.

Because mom doesn’t have a car, she has been asking family members to driver her around. I’ve had my turn at doing the driving. One day, I received a text from my older sister. My older sister had a few suggestions for me. She suggested I take mom for driver training lessons and let mom use my car for her road test. I read the text. Something wasn’t sitting well with me. The more I thought about the text, the more agitated I got. To me, there was a problem!

I didn’t quite know what the problem was. I did know I couldn’t get thoughts about this situation, out of my mind. I was aware of the agitation I felt. The agitation helped me to recognize I had unrest inside of me! That was when I started really paying attention to my thoughts.

I thought about taking mom for driving lessons and noticed a ‘fight’ going on inside of me! I thought about mom using my car for her road test and had a ‘fight’ going on inside of me. Fighting with my Self didn’t stop. Just when I thought I resolved one fight, another thought and fight started again. What was all this fighting about?

Thought after thought made things very clear for me. Somehow I felt powerless! I felt powerless to choose! Wow…I really felt that inside of me. Physically, I felt sluggish and defeated. I was totally aware of feeling like I had no power to choose! The interesting thing about this awareness was I started recognizing this powerless feeling more often than I wanted to admit! I started recognizing the inner fight more often than I wanted to admit. No wonder I had unrest. A deep pattern of mine surfaced to be healed and resolved.

Awareness is power! You can only work with what you are aware of!

Now, I am conscious of my power to choose because I was aware of feeling powerless. I’m consciously aware of the fighting inside. Now, I have the power to stop the inner fighting and make a new choice.

Something from outside of me innocently woke up something from inside. I started thinking which caused me to get emotional and feel agitated. The agitation guided me to the unrest inside. The more I stayed with the unrest, the more I grew in awareness. I grew to be aware of what was going on inside of me. The unrest dissolved to nothing and was gone.

With this new found power to choose, I started experiencing life very differently. The patterns changed. I actually sent my sister a reply text. I let her know I chose to stand back and give control to mom. With my mom, I chose to phone her and give her the phone number of a car rental agency. If she rented a car, she could drive anytime and anywhere she wanted. She could practice her driving and would even have a car for her road test. I experienced a sense of feeling rest inside of me.

If you are experiencing problems in your life, honor that in yourself. The problems offer you an opportunity to learn and grow. When you struggle, what are the messages behind your thoughts? When you have conflict, what are the messages behind your thoughts?

Behind your thoughts are subtle messages. Those subtle messages cause you to feel disempowered in some way. Maybe you feel you don’t have a choice. Maybe you feel someone has more power over you. Maybe you feel you won’t make the right decision. Those subtle messages lead you to the unrest in that moment of time. When you heal and resolve the unrest, your whole life literally changes from that day forward.

You feel empowered! You have the power to stand in your own power of choice. You can choose what feels right to you. If you make a choice which no longer feels right, you have the power to make another choice. You have the power to make another choice when you are aware of what’s going on inside of you.

Remember, this is about feeling empowered as you grow in awareness. You are growing to be aware of what’s going on inside, in relation to what’s going on outside of you. Without awareness, the struggle and conflict continue. There is learning and growing through each experience in life.

Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.

Sheila Unique, Master Energetic Intuitive!

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